Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Check out this note from a student. He wonders how some guys seem to be able to blatantly grope women in public with impunity.
Yet if he himself so much as reaches to touch a woman’s shoulder, she goes off on him and shrugs to push him off:
> Somehow, despite everything, he can just be over the top and not care at all…he hits on every girl at every opportunity and has his hands all over them…I sit there in disbelief and disgust…but clearly the problem is not his–it is mine…
> I have noticed that when I attempt to do this, there is something deep down inside that says that I’m doing something “wrong”, that I look stupid, etc.
> I am usually fine when I am in a situation where I am familiar with people…then I have no problem being “the life of the party.” It’s just when it’s cold, that I cant do it, or that I just convince myself that I don’t feel like it…
Well, hang on. I’m sure some of the women he “hits on” are disgusted as well. This guy you describe is probably TRAPPED. It seems he can’t act ANY OTHER WAY than the one you observe.
I’m all for moving through the world and enjoying yourself but you don’t have to be a pig or a boor to do so. In fact, just the opposite is so. Acting like a rude, pushy jerk-off IS certainly ineffective and the wrong energy to come from.
As far as what’s going on with you, it seems you are PROJECTING an outcome rather than just doing something and letting reality determine what will actually happen. This may be driven by anxiety in some form.
Here are some rules with this kind of “anxiety”:
- Anxiety is not a measure of reality.
- What ACTUALLY HAPPENS is the measure of reality.
- The expectation you project will have a HUGE influence on the outcome you get. If you expect people to reject you and PROJECT that, you almost always will be rejected.
- Go ahead and do the deed and let REALITY show you what the result will be instead of hiding behind speculation.
When you fight fear, it is exhausting. But fear is actually a function of an energetic flow, a state and a projected set of meanings.
You can work on this from one or more of those.
I suggest you really take a long time to meditate on the points I outlined, 1-4. Take a LONG walk and think about the implications:
- What is the flow of feelings in your body; the set of signals inside that you feel when you go to talk to people who are already familiar to you?
- What is the feeling flow; the set of signals inside you get when you want to talk to people who are unfamiliar?
And on this issue of “impunity” – I don’t think it is about “impunity”. Some actions deserve “PUNITY’ whatever that is.
If you walk up and piss in someone’s beer, grab his girlfriend’s titties, and poop in the stew… well, PUNITY on you.
It really IS about having the right meanings for things, the right flow of feeling, and then the smaller chunks: controlling the pacing of your voice, the tonality, what you say.
You don’t need impunity. You just need a better way to deal with the unfamiliar and a clear look at how you PROJECT outcomes through anxiety, instead of letting go and living life.
Peace and piece,
PR (aka RJ)
P.S. At next weekend’s “Magick, Meditation, and ‘Non-Local’ Influence” Seminar (July 28-29), we will do live, in-the-room exercises to help you see and set yourself free from the deeply hidden beliefs and filters that have squeezed down your sense of possibility and stunted your freedom to move in the world.