Dear Seeker of Success,
I once knew a guy who, for a short while, was so nutty, he thought he was a fish!
Because he constantly thought HE was a fish, he began to think others saw him that way.
But not ONE of them saw fins or scales when they looked at him!
Now hold that thought, and check out this “confidence” problem shared by a student:
> I have been working for confidence for over a year now and its going nowhere. I’m starting to think that no matter how much I rehearse confidence its not going to overcome this feeling of worthlessness or just not being worthy of meeting good women.
The problem here – the same problem with the guy who thought he was a fish, is having too much of an “inward focus“.
That is, this student lives un-usefully in his head, evaluating himself, instead of turning his curious attention outward toward others.
Now, what if here were to realize now that it isn’t so much about your judging himself as being worthless, but instead about him PRE-JUDGING the responses of others before giving them a chance?
I’d say he is ASSUMING/PROJECTING that others are judgmental, critical, mean and rejecting.
STOP all the programming – both positive and negative.
Even positive programming is INWARD.
Instead, take more of an outward focus that gives OTHER people a fair chance, without prejudging them, to show you that they MIGHT be kind, accepting, warm and non-judgmental-that THEY might not be engaging in the same constant comparing of you to others that YOU do to yourself.
Look: you can only feel “worthless” if you have some internal judgment about how you SHOULD be.
You then take that judgment and PROJECT it, in advance, into others, and ASSUME they will be as harsh on you as you have been on yourself.
In other words, if you think you’re a fish, you’ll think others see you as a fish without giving them a chance to see you for who you really are.
P.S. Nail Your Inner Game is the best, most systematic, fool proof, breakthrough system for untangling the confusion and “re-infection” that keeps guys stuck entirely, or stuck at a very underachieving level, and I’ve created it in a way where anyone can use it.