Dear Seeker of Success,
I’ll tell you a big reason why a lot of guys don’t approach women: fear of embarrassment.
Hey, you’re walking up to this chick who you’ve never met before, you know nothing about her, and for all you know, she could be one of those meanies who gets her kicks off kicking guys in the nuts (metaphorically or literally).
Even in less drastic scenarios, you feel like you’re putting yourself on a limb.
What if you “draw a blank” mid-Sarge?
What if she throws you a curveball and you miss your swing?
What if she says something unforeseen that just floors you?
What if she’s so cold to you that just by being snooty and ignorant to you, she reduces you to a muttering, empty shell of a man as you slink away, sensing that everyone around who was half-listening is now snickering at you.
Stick with me for a moment while I reveal…
The Gift Of Being Embarrassed And How It Gets You More Women Overall
OK, so you took a chance, and the chance took you. It happens. What we need to look at right now is your approach to it.
Repeat after me: “Just because it didn’t feel good doesn’t mean it isn’t a useful learning.”
Where do we get the idea that it’s shameful for a competent, able person to f@@k up and even feel lousy about it, at least for a while? How about a bit of compassion for yourself?
These experiences can make you gun-shy about approaching women, because now you’re conscious it might be a wasted effort. OK, so you want to avoid all “wasted effort”? Then don’t breathe. Ultimately, breathing, which sustains your life, is wasted effort, because eventually you’ll die anyway.
Look: when we feel hurt, it is natural to want to protect yourself. But in reality, it just lets the person who hurt you define not only who you were while you were with them, but who you are GOING to be even after they are gone.
Fuck that. Instead, I see it as a gift. In sales, you have to go through “no” to get to “yes.” Same with getting women. Every “no” you receive simply clarifies your options and gets you closer to “yes”…then the next yes…then the one after that…then three yes-es when all three of the prior “yes”-es (who turn out to be sorority sisters on the cheerleading squad) come home with you at the same time. (Beats a poke in the eye? I sure think so.)
Plus, you’ve drawn some useful lessons that sharpen your girl-getting game. You won’t be feeling embarrassed when she’s riding you reverse cowgirl while screaming “YES, YES, YES!”
Peace,
RJ
P.S. “It” happens. And when it does, you need the tools and techniques that help you blast through the tough times and powerfully handle every situation you encounter as you meet and seduce more and more women.
You’ll find that inside Rapid and Total Success With Women. Check it out. You’ll be glad you did.
Exactly Ross – Like you always say, “either i will get what i want or learn something that will help me get what i want”.
Congrats again dude!
A Cracker Jack truism.
“JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD, DOESN’T MEAN IT ISN’T WORKING.”
Thinking with one’s feelings is an invaluable skill, and using one’s intuition can save time.
And for sure, being rational is just great, if one’s axiom system has a proven track record.
But decisions, based on Feelings, Intuition, and Rational Belief Systems, are only as “good” as the data one has collected in the past; only as “good” as one’s previous programming.
So, when one is trying out new things and making adjustments in one’s responses, it pays to set up very simple benchmarks for “success”.
Choosing “simple” bench-marks, means, choosing bench-marks that are as independent as possible, of one’s feelings, intuition or rational interpretation. One just collects data.
In this way, the “results”, of an “experiment”, are easily, determined.
“Feeling Good”, feeling comfortable with a skill, is mostly a matter of habit and it takes about three weeks for a habit to take hold.
In the mean time, a person can use simple empirically evidence to keep things headed in the right direction.
Empiricism can be one’s episomolgy. It may not lead to “the truth”, but it gets close.
ross i think u hit the target.
when it boils down to what u want , it is gettin laid in the first place.
then the dating begins.with facing rejection it’s the part of the process
right.u gotta go through the certain steps before u get ur goal.similar with evrythin’ else in life.u r a leader in girl getting thing.i m nepalese kid just 5’2 and thin ever since i started applying ur techniques despite the fact i m asian in this caucasian world i get more attention.i thank neil strauss
for lettin me know bout u in his book the game.i m grateful tht i know u and will be using ur products in a full swing.
thank you millioneth times.