Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

It’s easy to say that women who are mean to you, or who act in ways that don’t hold up to logic, are mean, psycho bitches.

Have you considered the role self-esteem plays?  Think about it.

Most women have dealt with some previous wanker boyfriend / husband / boss criticizing her, her friends backstabbing her, things not going her way, getting her heart broken, getting cheated on, etc.  Or some of the above.  Or ALL of the above, where her wanker boyfriend cheated on her with her backstabbing best friend, thus breaking her heart, which means things did not go her way.

The result? What do you THINK?  Internal low self esteem.  Externally, these wounded souls evolve into perpetrators of bitchiness.

They frequently have a bad attitude.  The “drama” is trauma based – tantrums, making up stories that are obviously lies, being rude about others, etc etc. They are only happy if other people feel worse than they do, and often do all they can, including blatant manipulation, to create a situation that makes them feel better and puts them at the center of the universe.

You’re Not Out Of Luck, Though

Here’s how many girl-getting maestros will approach this:

Disarm her and show her you are unaffected. Turn it on her in a humorous fashion. Ignore her with a smile.  But if you can’t, then it’s “Exit, Stage Left.”

Problem, though: this only works for a while.  She’ll revert back to the drama/trauma frame over and over.

We Need A Direction Toward Something Better

Look: if you were to daily, ritually, synergistically and synchronistically be guided to and have guided to you, women who were happy, open-minded, grounded, loving life, contributing, supportive, who, when they receive love, welcome and return it…maybe, just maybe, after clearing up whatever of your OWN “stuff” might be drawing you to the drama/trauma crowd, you might start bumping into more and more such women.

Just like light can be measured as either a particle or a wave, depending on HOW you look for it and measure it, problems can be met at the level at which they come up, or you can go deeper, wider, or even “to the side”.

I want to suggest that BOTH approaches are required; train oneself to see the truth behind “bitchy” behavior and not to react to it, but also train oneself to expand the possibilities and to draw MUCH better where these “problems” will just not occur.

It IS possible.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Had enough of getting rejected, ignored, humiliated, overlooked, shut down or standing there frozen and speechless by beautiful women who unleash the trauma drama?  Ready to turn it around and start getting the results YOU want?  Then check out Speed Seduction® 3.0.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

2011 is right around the corner.

As the year edges towards a close and a New(Nude) Year approaches, I’ve been thinking about the most common “game errors”  I  have seen over the past year, and over the past 20 years of my teaching and coaching.

Many of these are quite subtle and act quite hypnotically.

That is, they are:

1. Out of conscious awareness. Guys are doing them, but they aren’t aware they are doing them because they are so much of the operating code/routine/sub-routines of the guy’s consciousness.  They build his worldview and become what he views the world “through”. As such, they have a powerful lock on thinking and choice.

2. They have a momentum of their own.  I like to use the term “cognitive” momentum and emotional inertia. Meaning that these ways of thinking, acting and responding have been going on for so long and for so many repetitions, they take on a life of their own.

3. Finally, it is an odd quirk of human nature that when something doesn’t work, we tend to do it more, or harder or louder.  Which only adds to the momentum of the less than useful pattern.

That said, here is the A-Z of failure with women. See if you can’t pick out which of these is operating in your mind/life/actions and make a determination to “de-bug” yourself in 2011.

A, Having the wrong set of ideas about female sexuality.  Assuming women need love or a relationship or even a “date” to really want/crave/enjoy sex.

B. Having no standards other than physical appearance. As I’ve said before the man who knows how to screen out the wrong kind of women will wind up having a lot more choices, not a lot less.  This takes some thinking through.

C. Having emotional traumas around sex that you need to resolve.

D. Not having a good rehearsal practice to get you in state before you sarge.

E. Not having a good review strategy to extract maximum learning after each sarge.

F. Having the incorrect ratio of thinking to acting.  Conceptual understanding is very important, yes.  But ultimately you learn most and best from also having interaction with real women in the real world.  (Until you’ve tried something, anything, at least 10 times, you don’t even begin to have good data points!)

G. Being invested in the girl, but only interested in the skills. REVERSE THIS!

H. Having an orientation that focuses on what you did incorrectly and making the mistake about your identity, rather than your behavior.  As in, “I always fuck up”.  ”I AM a fuck up”.  Dis-identify with the mistake and extract the lesson. This is harder than it sounds.

I. Related to H, thinking that your poor results are about “who” you are.  Or “because” you are: bald, fat, ugly, old, skinny, too young, etc.  This false “cause and effect” thinking is a killer to breakout success. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!

J. Crushing on a girl/one-itis. Do I have to explain this?

K. Trying to “figure out” girls who are wasting your time. If you find yourself asking, “Why isn’t she calling back?”  or  ”Why can’t I get her on the phone now?” you are taking on a “ruminating” state of mind. Stop it. Take action of some kind or put her out of her mind.

L. Needing female validation.

M. Not spotting the signs she is interested.

N. Failing to escalate physically.

O. Taking a woman’s first response at face value or set in stone.

P. Thinking any woman is “out of your league”.  Bullshit.

Q. Being in a hurry as opposed to being quick. Quick is fantastic. Hurry is disaster.

R. Being horny instead of being sexual.

S. Hiding your intent. Pretending you just want to be friends when you want a piece of her ass.

T. Seeing what you want to see in the woman rather than what she actually presents. Idealizing her in any way.

U. Failing to demonstrate that you are willing to walk away.

V. Failing to challenge her/call her on her bullshit.

X. Failing to set the frame as being a sexual one; letting her cast in the role of “advisor”.

Y. Not being able to see and respond to the actual emotional need she is expressing as contrasted with her literal words.

Z. Sticking with one vibe-funny, commanding, understanding her world, vulnerable-instead of varying it up and demonstrating/offering each at different times.

There you have it.  If you have any of these, make a determination that 2010 spells the end of it and 2011 is the start of something way, way better.

Peace, piece and I love teaching,

RJ

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

As a decent, caring person, many smart guys will find themselves wanting to help and support the women they care about.

Yet, there’s that balance, between being strong and supportive, versus becoming her therapist, or worse, her emotional tampon.  Let’s say she is going through a really tough time.  In empathy, you want her to really open up and share everything in her life with you.

Be careful though.  When we care about someone, we can get pulled into their stuff so deep that it colors who we are and our own energy and sense of possibility and approach to life.  It will certainly affect the energy she feels coming from YOU.

Let me say this: some issues are best resolved ENERGETICALLY, as opposed to behavior or language. Pay attention to your own behavior and vibe when you are with her. Set the intent to understand where she is at, WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THERE FOR YOURSELF.

Do you notice what I said? I said without HAVING TO. Doesn’t mean you can’t, it means it is a choice.

When we care about someone, the heart opens and EVERYTHING comes out. Joy, lust, caring, sadness, grief, anger. If she’s carrying around a lot of painful baggage, she may want to hold it in and being around you makes that impossible; you open her heart and out it comes.

Women revive the emotions associated with the topics that they are talking about.  Therefore, it is crucial to know what topics to introduce to get her emotions moving in the way we want them to move – towards lust, desire, fascination, desire, connection, etc.  And away from the pain.

Doesn’t that just make sense?  And aren’t you serving HER by helping her make a NEW CHOICE?

Here are a few topics that you should always have a way to bring up with women.

• Fantasy, escape, diversion, adventure
• Indulgence, cravings, spoiling herself
• Connections, with others, nature, beauty, something bigger and more beautiful than she expected

Look: life brings pain. No avoiding that. It’s what we wisely do with it.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. For many many, many more easy ways to direct a woman’s energy and emotions in a way that serves BOTH of you…all the way to your bed (or floor or couch), check out Speed Seduction® 3.0.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Making the change from Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) to Speed Seduction® Master and claiming the most enticing, most enjoyable hot women out there is a life-changing move. You change from a guy who has to resort to bullying, begging, and other “B” behaviors…to one who effortlessly and confidently approaches and seduces women.

So let’s say, back in your AFC days, there was a woman you were into, but because you were an AFC back then, you ended up being with Rosie and her sisters instead. But now, this hottie-from-before is back on your radar. You want to show her the “new man” you are now, seduce her and f@@k her brains out, but she is trying to put you back in the “therapist” role.

Here’s an “SOS” I got from a student in the same boat:

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Ross, I got a call today from a hottie who several years ago I totally dropped the ball on. I had a good start back then, but then I got too lusty and too supplicating and lost her to some other guy. Well, guess what? He dumped her 2 weeks ago and guess who she’s calling. ME!

When she called, she started crying about him, trying to (again) make me the veritable emotional tampon/AFC-friend. I totally refused, and said if we get together it has to be in a quiet place where we could have a few laughs.

I kept the call brief to avoid the AFC frame, especially after she instead asked me to come over tomorrow because she’s with her kids (in other words, so she could be near her safety net). I said I’d get back to her this week.

How can I move from “potential AFC supplicant borefriend emotional tampon” to “tasty-fuck-treat?” This is hard to do once you are in the “friend” category.

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Being “stuck” in the friend category – or stuck ANYWHERE for that matter – is a choice that YOU consciously make.

When she dumped this guy, who did she call? YOU. So use that fact for what it’s worth.

You can get her aroused and hot and bothered, but it has to be done in a certain sequence and a certain location. You need to get her away from her “safety net” and into a place where she will be open to exploring new things … and the possibility of exploring with you … in bed.

The key is to use the information she gives you to your advantage. Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying mind-blowing sex with her – and pretty much any other woman of your choosing that you might have “missed out on” in the past as a result of the “way you used to be.”

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. A Speed Seduction® master will remain calmly in control as the effortless seduction architect of every interaction and situation. It doesn’t matter what went down (or who didn’t go down) two years ago, or even two weeks ago.

My Speed Seduction 3.0 Course contains advanced concepts, tools, and teaching – my very best girl-getting thinking and experimentation ever. Getting your copy will be the best decision you can make. Get yours now:

http://www.seduction.com/blog/30/

P.P.S. How would you like me to teach you these concepts in person? Now’s your chance. Join me on October 16-18 in New York City and open the door to worlds of pleasure and power with women. Check it out:

http://www.seduction.com/newyork09/

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

You’re a smart guy who’s “got it goin’ on” who knows how to overcome your fear, walk right over to the hottie you see at the next table, and Sarge on her ’till next thing you know, she’s screaming your name while you take her places she’s never been before.

But there’s one problem. The other guys she’s been with have treated her like garbage. You refuse to resort to bullying, begging, buying, bs or booze…but she’s so used to guys who DO, that you end up being the “therapist” she cries to about those other jerks.

You know, the jerks who are f@@king her silly while you fantasize about her during your date with Rosey and her five sisters. Here’s a note I got from a student who’s in that boat:

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I have the hots for this chick who has ONLY ever been attracted to guys who treated her like crap. Occasionally she’ll call me or I her and we’ll hang a bit or talk on the phone. Each time, I extend her comfort zone just a bit more and her affirm, ratify and REACH for more good feelings.

It’s been my experience, if you treat women nice they tend to run away because it is all new to them. And I’m left standing there, knowing I had good intentions. But good intentions ain’t getting my Willy wet.

Can you expand the process here of how you had to be “hard” on her at first (which is what she expects from men) and slowly change her comfort zone to reach for good feelings – that will open up her heart and blow her mind.

Can this be done without me becoming her therapist and “friend” instead of her lover?

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This is territory fraught with pitfalls. First, foremost, UPPERMOST, MOST importantly:

DETACH YOURSELF from the outcome. You might like this woman, but you have to detach; turn down your desire to bang her, make a difference, change her worldview, etc.

Do a little Frame Control on yourself before you try it on her. Repeat this to yourself till it’s clear:

“I am not attached, but nor am I disinterested.”

And then orient yourself to your end goal by asking:

“Do I want a poke in the eye, or do I want to poke her?”

(I think you KNOW what *I* prefer!)

Instead of being the “friend” whose shoulder she cries on about how those jerks treat her wrong, you’ll be the guy who gets her soaking wet with desire…the “best she’s ever had.” They’ll wish they were YOU.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. It sucks that you are competing for this chick against a–holes and d–kwads. But, what these jerks aren’t counting on is you having Ross Jeffries on your team.

Now, you can have word for word seduction patterns that induce permanent behavioral change in this woman’s thought processes that will have YOU – and not those other jerks – being the answer to her fantasies. It’s all in my Frame Control and Sexual Themes DVDs. Get yours now:

http://www.seduction.com/blog/framecontrol/