Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Some people are loners who for reasons of their own, can’t or won’t let anyone in their lives.  They feel better without anyone around.

Some people choose the “single life” as a proactive choice for how they go through life.  There’s a whole movement around this.

And some people feel they can’t be happy if they don’t have someone in their life.  Sometimes they enter or put up with real-hate-shun-ships by default rather than be single.

A student of mine reported the following:

> I cant seem to be happy on my own, theres always a part of me thats a little lonely and a little upset all the time. When I have success with a girl the feeling is replaced with joy, but when i screw up and things don’t work out it really gets to me.

RJ here again.  Look at how you are languaging it. 

If you had a dear friend, who was having trouble with women, would you allow HIM to keep repeating to HIMSELF, “I can’t seem to be happy on my own.”

How many times have you fed your mind that suggestion?

If you mind accepts that suggestion, on a deep level, what do you think will happen to your attempts to be happy on your own?

You need to un-tangle these two things:

“I feel lonely” and “I can’t seem to be happy on my own”

One of them is true, sometimes. The other one is a belief that you are adding power to every time you say it. It’s actually making the problem more acute, not worse.

Look: every human has a need for human company and connection. It’s totally ok to have that need/desire/want DIRECT your behavior.

The problem is when that need/desire/want gets tied in with self-programming commands like, “I can’t seem to be happy on my own”.

So how could you go about separating the raw feelings of loneliness from the story you are attaching to it?

Hmmmm…

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Looking for some INSTANT help blasting past through this?  The Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection contains numerous focused video lessons on Beliefs, Blasting Through Stuck Points, Nailing Your Inner Game – and much more!

Best part: it’s all online-access so you can have it in 2 minutes from now!  Click here to make that happen.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In previous posts here on Ross Jeffries Uncensored, I’ve explained the importance of clearly positioning your values.

Sometimes, seeming “just a tad pissed” when she violates your rules can be an effective screening tool and a way of drawing her closer (esp. when she has to, you know, make it up to you).

Today I want to expound just bit on the following: when you are first getting to know a woman, or are even in the early stages of an ‘involvement’, how do you lay down rules/set boundaries for what is acceptable or unacceptable in her behavior?

It’s simple.

Tell her.

Tell her NON-BLAMINGLY.

What does that mean?

It means:

• NO name calling.
• NO angry tonality (in this post I emphasize “calmly but with a bit of pissed off going” – NOT fuming, seething, spewing, or shouting – BIG difference in case that’s not clear)
• Saying what you WANT.

Let’s say that you and her have gotten to know each other pretty good.  Her gym is around the corner from you and she’s starting a pattern of dropping by after her workout and expecting you to be available on a dime.

Again, you love having her around and you’re enjoying how things are going with her, but you can’t just drop everything, every single time.

You might say, “Listen…this is really important to me. If I don’t tell you, then it is my fault for being with-holding. But it’s like this: it’s important to me that the people around me respect my personal space. And what that means is that if you want to come by, please ask first. I love having you here, and I want you to be here alot, and (not BUT), I also need you to know that the space still belongs to me.”

That’s just one example.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. For over 60 hours’ worth of examples to help you master any situation with any woman, crack open the door to the Speed Seduction® Total Immersion 2011 Seminar Footage Collection.  It’s all online so you can be enjoying the teaching in less than 3 minutes from now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

It’s time to break out of the belief fostered by certain folks that in order to have fun or have sex with a woman, you must be open to a relationship or feel you “owe” her one.

It is time, my beloved students, friends, and fans, to shut the Romance Racketeers down.

Look: when you’re out there meeting new women, exploring new avenues, enjoying rides on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle without excuses, regrets, apologies, and other bullshit so-called “price to pay” for being an HONEST man, the Romance Racketeers lose.

When you and a woman mutually agree to have some fun without complicating things, that means you both get what you want without money and time wasted on fancy dinners, flowers and chocolates, romantic cruises for two, and that rot.  The Romance Racketeers do NOT like this because they’re not getting your money.

But you, as a smart guy who masters the skills, will focus instead on having fun, making out with, and yes, f@@king the women you really want to be with.  Meanwhile the Romance Racketeers can go f@@k themselves, as far as you, me, and all of your fellow Speed Seduction® masters are concerned.

Most of us come from a background of being told to be “a nice guy”. Told, even if what you really want is some awesome sex with a hottie, to still make it known that you want a relationship and even make an effort to try to “find” one.  You know the old saw about “stuff you say to get into her panties”… and the over-generalized connotations around the phrase “Mr. Love ‘Em And Leave ‘Em.”  

Well guess what?  Many women you THOUGHT you never had a chance in Hell with, actually WOULD have slept with you, in fact masturbated while thinking about you, but were afraid to get involved with you AT ALL because they weren’t ready for a relationship and took those hints-to-the-contrary you felt “obligated” to drop, at face value.

Another clue: women who are dating other guys or have busy schedules are probably not looking for a relationship either.  A woman who has a “career first” mindset is unlikely to settle into a relationship, in fact she might get turned OFF by the idea.  But chances are she’s not committed to waiting 5 years to get laid. Have you thought of it from HER point of view?

One last thing: how many women commisserate about wishing they could find “Mr. Right” yet seem to be having a lot of sleepovers with “Mr. Right Now?”  I got news for you pal: she’s not letting Mr. Right Now in her shorts because she doesn’t want him there, even if it IS true that he’s not her “Mr. Right” that she envisions having kids and growing old with.

In fact it just might be possible she’s denying she really likes f@@king him – even complaining about what a “jerk” this “Mr. Right Now” of hers is – because she’s been programmed by the Romance Racketeer Cinema to fear “society” will call her a whore for daring to claim her choice to be a discerning, smart woman who wants to be happy and satisfied like any human being.

You know, just like the Romance Racketeers would paint you a “rake” or a “sex obsessed jerk” (the “bad guy” in any sappy romance flick…you know…the guy who f@@ks the heroine over and over before she finally “lets” the “hero” of the story be seen buying her an expensive dinner in a public place on their way to the expensive show he bought the tickets for) for daring to admit that, yes, you like a woman because she’s good in bed and you like being in bed with her.

See, these Romance Racketeer assholes are making it difficult for the women-folk too.  And that’s bullshit that needs to STOP.

Now STAND UP, cast off their chains, go up to that woman you desire, and show her a BETTER choice.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. With inflation these days, it’s easier than you think to drop a few hundred in just one evening on the stuff Romance Racketeers want you to spend money on… EACH time you want to get laid.  What if you invested that same amount of money ONCE – in YOURSELF – and claimed the skills to get laid 100 times?  Click here to learn how.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

You know the saying, “All’s fair in love and war?”

I have news for you: it’s not.  Especially when she changes the rules on you in the middle of the game.

I’ve had many students report how they will be involved with a woman and then abruptly her behavior or response patterns will change.

Or, as one student called it, she’ll move the goalposts.  For example, once you’ve slept with her a couple times, she’ll want to start spending more time non-sexually.  Then, once that happens, she’ll start insisting you stop seeing other woman and go exclusive with her.

Hey, if she’s the one you really, truly, want to be with, and what you have brewing isn’t a “real-hate-shun-ship by default,” this being her way of drawing you closer might mean you’re getting your results.

Smart men like you draw the women you desire to be with closer to you by using Speed Seduction®.  So if she uses her own methods to accomplish the same goals for herself, isn’t turnabout fair play?

But what if you’re not ready for this?  Seems like an ultimatum: “Either be my boyfriend, or you don’t get to pet my kitty anymore.” (Especially sucks if she ALSO happens to have a really nice domestic cat who you enjoy hanging out with over at her place.)

Let’s back this up and look at it from another perspective.

Maybe what you offer her is SO much better than what she has experienced before and better than what she perceives she could get elsewhere, that NOW she doesn’t want to bother going anywhere else. In her mind, the feelings she has with you just are the best and she is afraid if you go away, she can’t find them elsewhere.

I would reframe this so she gets that yes… together you and she experience things wonderful AND she has also grown as a woman to the point where her ability to experience and have wonderful feelings might just extend to many MANY things and situations that have nothing to do with you. That it ISN’T just about you, but about how her own responsiveness and ability to feel inside have grown.

Way back in the day I knew a young lady who at first resisted me, because up until me, she had ONLY ever been attracted to guys who treated her like crap. I did NOT pursue this girl, but occasionally she would call me or I her and we’d hang a bit or talk on the phone. Each time, I extended her comfort zone just a bit more and had her affirm, ratify and REACH for more good feelings.

What shifted is, she no longer saw what she felt with me as being alien or something she had to get used to. NOW, she was defining it as what is NORMAL for her, and the old stuff is no LONGER normal. It’s now what she reaches for and what she wants, AND she is finding she can redefine who she is and what she wants IN OTHER AREAS OF LIFE AS WELL, so it isn’t just about me.

Now ask yourself: would that beat a poke in the eye?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Remember the phrase: “Show me better, show me more, show me more, show me better…NOW.”

P.P.S. Understanding the real psychology of what gets women ready to go will give you an advantage over almost every other guy out there – even guys who are better looking or make more money.  This is just a sliver of the trim-trimphing mastery you’ll find inside Speed Seduction® 3.0.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Ever asked a woman out, to have her say “Sure, I’ll go with you, as friends”?

For those of you who, despite my thoughts on this subject, meet women on “dating” sites, have you ever messaged a woman for the very first time, only to have her respond (without any conversation with you): “I’ll let you know upfront that I’m not interested, but we can talk as friends.”

Recently, a student of mine asked a woman, “I have two tickets to the game this weekend. If I were to ask you to be my date, what would your response be?” Her response, “I would accept, just as friends though.”

Wha…wha…WHAT?  Huh?  Run that by me again?

So how did this potential ride on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle turn into a “friendly” “date”?

What did she mean when she said “… just as friends?”

It all starts with that word… the “D” word… date.

As Speed Seducers, don’t we want to AVOID all the “dating” terminology and thought patterns? All the auto-pilot responses that “dating” triggers in her mind?

Rather than ask what she “means” I would ask: what process did it trigger in her? What autopilot ways of thinking went off in her head in response to “date”?

Probably she thought, “Oh oh…date means he EXPECTS I’ll f@@k him. Well, I WANT to f@@k him, I HOPE I f@@k him, but I don’t want to feel PRESSURED to f@@k him. Am I really ready to f@@k ANYONE? Jeremy hurt me so bad last time. Why are men such jerks? I wonder what Tanya will think…I should text her right now and get HER opinion. Oh wait a minute, she just went to visit her boyfriend in rehab after he beat her up and got arrested by the cops. That cop who is always at Starbucks in the morning is hot. I bet he f@@ks good. Dad said never to date a cop, I bet it would be fun…”

Etc etc etc.

Do you get my point?

Stop playing dumb and stop being afraid to take a bold step forward. Breathe into the image of you who GETS IT and DOES IT.

And then DO IT.

With her.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Like how I get right to the bottom of it and lay it out there?  Want to see me do that 120 times on video and hear me do it 48 times on recorded audio?  Crack open the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection and all of that plus more is yours.

Including my bonus course, “From Buddy To Bedmate” with the formula that gets you out of the “friend” zone once and for all.

GO for it!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In my last blog post, I explained the reasons why women put men through B.S. tests.

So, moving right ahead, today I will share some powerful techniques to not only “pass” these tests but rather, completely overcome them and turn things to your advantage.

So, let’s delve into…

How To Handle It….Dealing From A Position Of Strength

To get back to street fighting analogies, there’s a concept from Jeet Kun Do, the fighting style of the late, great Bruce Lee that basically says that any weapon thrust your way, as part of an attack is just a convenient target to be destroyed. Coming from this perspective, an attack, rather than something to be feared, is just an unprecedented opportunity to…. KICK THE OTHER GUY’S ASS!!!!

Just so, a woman’s bullshit and tests are great opportunities to establish respect and dramatically increase her interest in you. In other words, your response to these tests, instead of being, “Oh no.…why is she doing this? What did I do wrong?”, from now on will be….

AH, HAH! A RESPECT OPPORTUNITY!!!

Look: your attitude has to be that every rude piece of behavior, every silly test of hers is just an unprecedented opportunity for you to establish respect, increase her interest, and intensify her desire to please you.

Taken from this perspective, you’ll be mentally prepared, and may even find yourself actually looking forward to her trying to pull shit, since you know it’s your chance to get her really hot for you!!!!

Now let me add one other thing: when you do put her in her place…

IT’S GOT TO COME FROM THE RIGHT PLACE IN YOU!!!

In other words, the macho idiot who loses control and trashes the place when his girlfriend comes home ten minutes late is definitely not the example to follow. All he’s doing is showing he can’t control himself and he just earns the woman’s contempt.

Notice I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t get a little pissed. Just don’t go nutso with a stream of obscenities. (Streams of obscenities are for afterwards, when you are in bed with her.)

The other thing that doesn’t work is acting like a hurt little boy. Whining stuff like, “How could you do this to me?” or, “But you promised!” won’t cut it, good buddy. No. You have to come from the calm, but firm “take it or leave it” position. This is all part of displaying the critically important………

WILLINGNESS TO WALK AWAY FROM HER!!!

You see, after years of experience and study, I’ve come to the conclusion that a woman can only experience real passion for you if on some level she believes she could do something to lose you!

Understand that when you show this willingness to walk away, in any area of your life, it conveys the message that you are the prize to be pursued, that you are the person of value, and they had better take advantage of the opportunity.

This is an attitude that will move you forward in any area that’s challenging you.

By way of contrast, if you show a non-stop, forever and ever devotion to her, and put up with her crap and ambivalence, then where is that tension of knowing she could lose you? Answer: nowhere!

And that’s why you get nowhere when you put up with this kind of stuff! If you’ve seen an initially hot relationship grow ice-cold, this is one big reason!!!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Ready to stop wasting your time and money HOPING that if you “pass the test” that women will like you and sleep with you?  Your golden ticket to success is waiting for you when you explore Speed Seduction® 3.0.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

There’s a common saying in street fighting that 95% of all real fights wind up in a clinch and go to the ground. Could that really be true? Frankly, I don’t know. But I will say this: 95% of the time, a woman will test you by the second meet, or sooner, to see:

1. If you’ll take her bullshit.
2. How hungry you are for her attention (remember: those who look hungry, never get fed)
3. Just how much control she can exert over you and/or the relationship.

You CAN pass those tests – and do some testing of your own. Believe me, this is important.

If you’ve ever been dumped for being “too nice”, or have been told, time and again, “let’s just be friends”, it’s because you haven’t learned to recognize when you’re being tested or just haven’t yet learned how to properly respond.

You thought you would get points for being “co-operative” and “helpful”, and instead you just got the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

Why She Tests You: The Search For Strength And Certainty

Look: one of the primary things that women are looking for from a man is security; the feeling that someone is stronger than they are. When you put a woman in her place, when you set rules and boundaries for her to follow, it lets her know she can relax around you and feel comfortable and secure.

This search for strength is the single most important reason why she tests you.

The other factor is ambivalence, or what I call the “make up my mind for me” syndrome. You see, often a woman just isn’t that interested in you one way or another. Maybe you aren’t exactly the physical type she goes for, maybe she just got burned in a bad relationship, or there’s some unseen competitor who she’s waiting to hear from.

Whatever her reasons, you can tell this is happening when you hear something like, “Uh…well, I’d like to go out with you Friday, but why don’t you call me late Friday afternoon and I’ll let you know for sure?”

Finally, there is the fact that sometimes, modern women just get overwhelmed with eighty billion things they are trying to do at once. And, when overwhelmed, they flake on commitments that occur during the peak of the overwhelm.

Now, stay with me… in my next post I will show you just how to handle it.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Every situation is different, as you can see there are as many reasons for a woman to give you a B.S. test as there are B.S. tests.  The best way to learn to overcome these – and other – girl-getting challenges is to learn from those who have mastered them already.  You’ll find lots of this in the 120+ videos of the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection.  Click here to get instant, lifetime access right now.