Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
By some definitions, anything that involves wanting to be with, or feeling a “need” for, a woman could be considered an act of desperate supplication, straight out of AFC-Ville.
On the other hand, how many women claim to feel attracted by a man who knows what he wants, says what he wants, and goes for what he wants?
(Something to that, perhaps?)
Even if you’re staying interested in the woman / invested in the skills, could that interest, in and of tself, be desperate supplication?
It’s not as egregious as the Six Bs (bullying, begging, buying, BS, booze, and biceps) but could you still get stung in the heart by buzzing around it?
Stick with me while I show you…
The Big Difference Between Desperate Supplication And
“Guy Who Just Goes For It” Desire
Do you notice that it only feels like desperate supplication if she isn’t strongly responding positively to what you are doing?
In the presence of her very strong, positive response, supplication doesn’t enter into it.
Wanting someone isn’t supplicating; that’s desire.
It’s when we wrap drivenness and fixation, and fear and sadness, and hope and doubt around it that it becomes supplicating in tone.
And most/worst of all, it veers into desperate supplication when we get attached to the result.
Pure desire/want is actually quite sexy, which is why women feel attracted to the man who “gets what he wants”.
See the difference?
Peace and piece,
PR (aka RJ)
P.S. Ready to reclaim your sexual aggression, desire, and dominance with the same “guy who just goes for it” comfort and skill as your devotion and adoration?
CLICK HERE NOW TO LEARN MORE >>>
Well said and again the picture of social conditioning comes to our mind time and again how can a habit nourished from childhood change in a matter of moment huge task ahead of Speed Seduction 3.0 and later for reconditioning the belief for the price we paid by losing in life which we were ignorant load of applause to Ross who welds the torch of hope on the grounds of regaining our alpha status.
O mighty Ross! It just ocurred (sp?) to me that before your most excellent material, I had NEVER talked intimately with a woman. Yes, have had many. Many. Never begged nor supplicated, never talked much either. When I was “on” I usually knew it, made a move, and that was that.
but DAMN! I missed a lot. Now that I CAN talk, thank you, Ross, and do, every connection with anybody is more fun, although sometimes I wake up old and remembering “Wham bam thank you m’am” and how much I didn’t think in those days. Pre-Ross I just had a good time and rolled around not thinking about it much. Just get me a drink and get me laid and nobody gets hurt, you know that one.
Thanks for the on-going wake up. Still booming around some…Leslie
That nicely sums up the funk I was in last weekend and gave me a filter to see some better options today.
I don’t know if I would call it expressing my desire, but a simple, matter-of-fact expression of her desirability. Had all the non-verbals down pat and saw the chance she offered me to say something. Didn’t occur to me what to say until this evening.
Programming it in piece by peace by taking the time to journal every detail, really building it up in my mind so I’m seeing more and more in real-time and responding more and more in the moment to opportunities as they unfold.
Thanks Paul, for helping me re-adjust and fine tune my girl getting experience and helping me connect with my desires as a man. If it wasn’t for your in depth knowledge and experience in blasting through “stuck points” I don’t know where the PUA community would be right now.
I agree guys RJ is so insightful in his blogs. It’s like- an aha! moment the way he words it all for us.
One thing iv’e learned from his teachings is that despite my gender role programming I actually do now desire a connection with a woman and want to talk about connection, adventure, escape, etc.
It’s the irony of this material-learn to seduce women but learn to desire deeper things than solely superficial experiences.
A Rabbi once wrote about how when you bang someone you connect with their energy, and I don’t want to connect with a chick who has a vibe I don’t like, and a person who isn’t open to handwriting analysis, the cube, and even stuff like the Myers Briggs personality test because, Iv’e learned that I like women who like to learn about themselves. A person who isn’t into learning is gruesome to me.
@Here To Learn thank you for your kind words. Please continue down the Sargy path.
Dear Ross,
I have a question which I hope you will answer. You say that focus on the emotions you want to create instead of behaviours. Now I met this German girl about 3 weeks ago in my country. We spent about 3 hours over a pizza and a drink and I didn’t really conciously do any language patterns. I only focused on the vibe I came from – understanding and vulnerable. I mean to say I got really curious about the things she had to say and told her about some experiences of my own. Then we left and she invited me out to dinner the next day saying “Please accept”. To cut a long story short the dinner didn’t happen as she had to work longer that evening at office and I was feeling feverish, so she asked me if we could reschedule it for the next day. But the dinner still didn’t happen as my phone connection was lost and I couldn’t contact her. And that evening I returned back to my city and in the meantime she texted my friend asking him to pass on her email to me. So I contacted her once I got back home and she seemed very happy to hear from me. She said that she was even thinking about coming over to my city to see me. When my cellphone was okay I texted her asking how she was doing, my phone was allright now and I was just chilling at home listening to music and watching the sunset. To which she replied “Fine, thks. Enjoy Home. regards!” I felt weird that it was such a short text and why she didnt ask me how I was or didn’t comment anything about what I said nor did she describe anything about her life. So I texted her back saying, “Are u missing home? Why such a short text of just 5 words? Was my text that boring to read”? No reply for 2 weeks. So I called after 2 weeks and did the metacomment pattern, “hey it seems like you’re not giving me any response. Did I say something to offend you? Do you want to tell me whats going on”? Apparently her mother was come from Germany to visit her and she was at a party that night and asked me to call her after 2 days but anyway we eneded up discussing the matter that day itself. So she told me that she didnt mean to be cold in her text and said that since I didnt like her reply she had nothing to say and thats why she didnt text back. She said her first text was short because there was nothing important going on. But she said she was glad I called to which I asked “Are u really glad I called?” to which she said “Yes” She said that we will definitely meet when I come to her city next or when she visits me in my city. She said she usually sends out very short texts to all her friends and maybe this is a cultural misunderstanding. She said “Now I understand you and you understand me”. And I suggested to her that replying to my text was a matter of courtesy for me and it certainly was better than saying nothing at all and even if she wasn’t able to text me she could just say something like “Really busy, will call u later or something like that”, to which she said “I dunno. I’m doing my internship and I don’t have time to text all day”! (Now I never asked her to text me all day and wonder why she said that) Anyway overall I felt it was a lukewarm response. Sure she said some nice things but she seemed to busy and eager to get back to the party and she didnt seem all that eager or grateful that I called and the last 2 minutes of our converstation I couldn’t hear anything she was saying due to the noise which other people were making besides me in the phone booth and all I heard was her saying “Bye” 2 or 3 times. Now my confusion is over this: Clearly she is probably interested only a little bit right now. To make her more interested I have to call her and actually do some patterns to get her fascinated and aroused and intrigued so that giving me what I want seems natural to her. But if I call her wouldn’t I be making the fatal mistake of pushing forward all the time? I really don’t want to be a hi tech beggar! Should I take on the attitude of “If a woman wants me a little bit she will want me a lot more if she has to work to get me?” and wait for her to call and end of story. If she calls we move forward or else just exit stage left. I’m really confused about this Ross, I’m doing the detangling also but I find when I’m out of the meditation the conusion seems to come back again after an hour or so and then again I detangle! Seems like I have to keep detangling all day. Would be grateful if you gave me some insight. Thank you.
PS I just forgot to add. This girl wants me to “call her” when I’m in her city next. She wants me to call and “invite her to a party or something in my city”. I don’t really want to be the one calling all the time!