Does She Really Want To “C**t-trol” You?

Dear Speed Seducers,

One of the things that never ceases to amuse me is how women attempt to exert control that they don’t even really want.

Too often, as budding master seducers, we take women’s attempts to control us at face value and winding up blocking our own cocks.

ca_34927013_180Example: you are making out and she stops you saying, “I want this to happen slowly”.

Immediately, you take this as meaning that she ought to be the one to control the speed at which things happen and that the speed at which things happen is what it is all about.

I am firmly convinced that, in these situations, women do NOT want “control”.  They want us to understand their true emotional need, in that moment, and to take control based on our understanding of that need.

Now, in the example I cited, the actual emotional need could amount to lots of things:

  1. Instinctively, she knows that in order to get fully turned on, she needs some “stop/start”. It’s not about going “slowly” but going with “pauses in the action” so she can feel sufficiently turned on to truly want to f@@k you.
  2. She is feeling very turned on and suddenly remembering past times when she fucked a guy right away and he ran for the hills.
  3. She can’t wait for you to rip off her panties and fuck her then and there.  But she doesn’t want to appear slutty. (This is the well know “ASD” or Anti-Slut Defense)
  4. She’s got some genuine issues with physical intimacy, including possibly packing some diseases for which medical science has no current cure.

My point being this: women seldom really even know what they truly want, and even more rarely are they able and willing to clearly express it.

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So my rules are:

  1. Almost never take a woman’s statements at face value.
  2. Always ask yourself, “What’s the real emotional need she’s expressing?” And “how can I address this AND keep my intent intact?”
  3. Even if you modify your behavior-what you do in that moment – NEVER let a woman shift your intent to something non-sexual, unless you believe in your heart of hearts and balls of balls, that being sexual with her will truly result in harm to either her and/or yourself.

Your comments are most welcome.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. Rapid And Total Success With Women is the only girl-getting solution on the market today that puts YOU in control as the effortless seduction architect of any situation…WITHOUT having to get stung and resort to the “5 Bs” – bullying, begging, buying, BS, and booze.   Or the sixth B, biceps.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

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27 Responses to Does She Really Want To “C**t-trol” You?

  1. TEXAN says:

    Ross,

    It will never stop to amaze me how important this basic principle is in either massively kick-starting your sarge or massive smashing your balls!!

    If I wouldn’t have otherwise more often than not taken womens statements other than subject to change, I would have been playing with lil tex up to this point!!

  2. Diño says:

    “I am firmly convinced that, in these situations, women do NOT want “control”. They want us to understand their true emotional need, in that moment, and to take control based on our understanding of that need.”

    Great principle, which I haven´t seen so brilliantly stated anywhere else… thnx for sharing it

  3. Ken says:

    Ross, would you be willing to give an example of what one might say in the situation you’ve described for us?

    I’m VERY familiar with the line(s) you teach “I don’t wanna feel pressured either, I just wanna do what we both feel comfortable doing together, whatever that may be. So let’s enjoy each other and be with what feel right.”

    I’ve used this gem before and I gotta say, it’s better than the Hope Diamond!

    So would this line/principle be the right way to go?

  4. Gera says:

    hey Ross is just that I found today an altered state that gets me very focused and with clarity, while I was on that state I was like wow!!!, this is deffinatly a powerful state, that was a symilar state that I use when I play soccer (can’t tell u all the wonders I’ve made with this state playing soccer), I will use it to sarge and get feedback, is a state where I feel I can do anything and respond very easily fast and be aware. while on that state I realized that up until now I’ve been very distracted I mean like I’ve constantly changed from many states just by seeing people,next person I saw puff state changed, from person to peron investing the energy of the day in a very not useful and fool way. I mean I just realized about the great importance of an altered state. Do u have any advice?

  5. Peter says:

    Hi, there is a girl who I know now since 5 years, but she lifes at the other side of the world. I have met her online we talked often together. When I was 16 she started to like me but cos of living too far away I rejected her with the interesst to protect both from love pain. After some years of break we started talking again, and seduced each other. We wrote each other amazing things and shared amazing fantasies. I planed to visit her, but with the time an issue cam up. Influenced by her mother’s advice & talk she decided to hide her feelings from me. She was told that we can not know or like cos it is too virtual. Honestly for you guys it might be. But I enjoyed being admired by her and the idea of meeting this special girl. She is virgin & from Brazil, she will be faithful with a good personality & beautiful. If I read the book about seduction by Robert Grene, I would say this girl is a “New Prude” very religious and so on. My seductive skills to her were mostly the one of “The Rake” and of the “Perfect Lover”.
    Anyway this does not explain the issue…. she was hiding her feelings and said to come back to friendship….
    First I did not understand this cos she was not able to explain it. She said it is because I am not religious, and I tried to pray. I lost control and became a fool willing to do everything. By this surprising step she made me crazy and gained power which she never had about me. This for one week till I told her that I am not loving her anymore and that I wane break up with her. I made this decision cos it was so much pain for me to be out of control and not to know her true feelings. I expected she does not like me anymore cos I did not understand things.
    At the same evening we talked, she explained me that she was influenced by her mother. She wanted me back, and not waiting long she got be back. But I made mistakes again, I was a fool, I was rushing too quick back to what we had, sending her one day 25 sms -.- (annoying).
    Maybe that she wanted to give steps back was just normal, but I acted and responded terrible antiseductive to it. She had all the control. Now we are “friends” again. She wants to wait till we meet with dating other boys. She liked that I wait too, but she got annoyed if I talk about “us”. Because I did not give her space to imagine fantasies in this time, she does not imagine anymore. But she still liked me, she explains me that I have to be paitent now. She tells me to show less emotions, and says that she will show me more to help me with it. I know she still likes me even if the relation has been damaged a lot, but I do not really know how to act now. Things are more difficult. Is there a good chance to find back to each other again? I know if I were in Brazil she could not resist. This part must sound weird for you, but I want this girl and no other. I will have enaugh pleasure if I meet her and see than what happens. Just in case she is that special for me in reals as she is online (webcam/skype/chat) waiting would have been worthy. I am going to give her time now, she wants us to talk about other things than “us” about politics or religion. I do it, at the weekend I will let her wait a bit, I said I have work. But on Sunday I will go to church to impress her. How to understand her maneuvers? What to do? I think I must get the control about the speed back by time, she might not be pleased feeling too much power? She might be pleased by feeling much power? :D I mostly liked her for being so perfect, romantic, good manners… and now she turned into a controlling Sieren what I like too =)
    RFC

    Should I reject her? Should I tell her that she does not have to wait anymore for me, because I understand that she needs someone nearby? Should I talk to her when she likes it? I think if things re not helpless & burned already the right thing is a good mixture of both likes in the early stages.

    • Ross Jeffries says:

      Way too much investment in someone so far away whom you don’t even know in person. Wake up from the fantasy.

  6. Peter says:

    She calls me to hear my voice, she says we are friends. She says… every relation starts with a friendship.
    I start a sentence…. [name] we will be friends for ever (with a slow and seductive voice well pronounced) —– [she (interrupting me):] nooo not forever —- [me] yes… friends forever, and if more happens, it happens, and if not than not, but we will stay friends forever.
    To be honest I am virgin, because I do not like to look for the girl who I can get easy…. she is virgin too…. I know she will love me quick, she tells me that I am special, that I am amazing, she tells me from her child time.. the sad things which she has experienced, which bring tears to her eyes. She looks great, she has personality & intelligence and kind of equal fantasies about the future. Everything is fantasy & fun, but why not to give it a chance. I do not want to be a twat destroying the possible “more pleasure” reached by “waiting” (with other girls) till I met her. I am pretty clever, for example I have made her a present, I have send her a red wool heart, which I gained at a funfair when I was a child. In early times I slept with it in bed. She had an equal one, and I suggested her to exchange the hearts by post, now she sleeps on mine. Every time when she goes to bed she will remember me :D haha
    She hugs it when sleeping as if it were me =)
    Your article is good. I understood that she does not want to have the control… The point is that she might fear to be judged by society having a “virtual relation”. I do not think that she fears getting lost in feelings cos this might have happened anyway =)

    Are you guys only aiming for short term seductions? I think if you do a “speed seduction” it can only be a short term one, because a real seduction takes time. With respect to her, and to her pleasure you should give it time. Both will get more pleasure by waiting a bit and doing steps slowly. I do not like the “player” thing, having as much girls as possible… I do not even know if it really works without true feelings, can you play it? I think you can not hide yourself that much… but if I were like this and if I had the time I would try to do seductions to many girls at the same time, but it takes a lot of effort lol :D

    Anyway before I write too much again, Thank you. I am curious about your feedback and I hope that the girl I was talking about will not find this page by accident (hehe)

  7. Peter says:

    What are your aims? Relations or sex? Anyway I am sure I am definitely not the one who needs to give you advice (hehe)… I am sure to get sex is very easy for you too… Going to the clubs for this is boring in my eyes I think it is no challenge. I have watched some of your videos, I like your gestures which you do with your hand when talking with the girls. I do not know if you have studied this but for example when talking about needs, you move your hands from you to her, back to you and from you to her again, like if you would give it to her…
    This is pretty intelligent, you say more by hands than by words. She will receive the message: “he can give it to me”, even if you have not said it in words. She will not even recognize it herself but her brain will remember this :-)

    Is it fun for you to have power about people? Respect for what you know!

    • Ross Jeffries says:

      Of course it is fun, Peter. What do you think? And relations OR sex? How about both? Why either/or?

  8. Peter says:

    Its funny I let her understand my moves. I tell her how I think and how I play with her, how I seduce her, but she still likes me. I nearly tell her everything. I have no secrets to her its 100% honest. This is quite enjoyable for me. What do you think about it?

  9. Diño says:

    Dude, I think if she´s not making a fool of you, you´re making it for yourself… time to stop living in your head and start living a real life… greetings from Brazil

  10. Diño says:

    Please, don´t take me wrong, i sure didn´t mean to be rude… of course we can´t say she´s making a fool of you or not, but the single fact that you´re reading this blog is a clear sign that you want the better for yourself, therefore not beeing deluded… if i were given the chance to give you an advice, i would recomend you to stick with uncle Ross´s teachings and for sure some clarity will arise to you sooner than you could think, didn´t it?

  11. Stuart says:

    Couldnt agree more with dino and ross. dont get invested in a fantasy except in the shower. get out and live the real life outside your door.

  12. Salman says:

    Ross,

    What should your intent be? Should it be “I intend to sleep with this woman” or “I intend to see what this woman is like”?

  13. pete says:

    Hi ross
    I really love your stuff despite only earning £240 a week a have purchased all your products. But I can’t any of it right. All I have achieved is alienated my good frends and fond my self very much alone. Where have I gone wrong

  14. Harsh says:

    I was making out with this girl and she said to me, “Don’t kiss me I’ll kiss you. You’re too excited. Just learn to breathe and relax more.” She seemed experienced so I took an attitude of, “Maybe she can teach me a thing about enjoying sex more”. So I just did that. Breathed into a soft belly. Felt her skin, her hair by running my hands slowly over her body. This happened for about 30 minutes. At that point she says something along the lines of, “I know you want that but you need to be sufficiently relaxed….” So I just say, “Thats fine! It seems like I’m learning from you and I’m in no hurry. Let me just breahe, relax and just take in this experience”. Then I do the same for about 5 minutes more and I could then litereally sense a “Fuck me” vibe after that. So I just climed over her. No resistance. Very very deep, slow and relaxed petting for 20 minutes. She says, “What are you doing to me?” as in I think I was really getting to her. Then she sucks my finger! After 10 seconds I realize she wants to blow me. So I let her. Then we kissed the most passionate kiss I ever had. And we keep kissing for another 10-15 minutes. At that time I wasn’t so experienced, nor did I feel I wanted to fuck her. I thought I’d just enjoy a light make out and ended up enjoying a heavy make out and a blowjob!

  15. wayne says:

    in the beginning most women always try to control you, and when they succeed,
    they always wonder what happen to you, and start playing you for a fool and start
    messing around with other guys and want you to understand and stay faithful
    and patience for them so they can decide who is mister right, and keep you
    clueless and frustrated. Just go after your own happiness.

    peace

    • @Wayne

      I think what looks like “control” is just fear. And the irony can be, the more deeply you lead a woman to feel, the more fearful she can become.

      I can’t count the number of times women have said to me, “You scare me” and they DON’T mean it in an insulting way, as in, “You are creeping me out.”

      They mean(and I’ve asked them) that they are not used to feeling that kind of connection.

      RJ

  16. Robin says:

    I would say, ‘You’re right…This does need to happen slowly.’ As I continue to to kiss. slowing it down more sensually.

    • @Robin,

      Verily I say unto you: thou art not far from the Kingdom of Sarge. He who believes in me and gets laid, shall never have a dry dick again. And he who believes and has a dry dick, yet shall he bang.

      Messianically and manically,

      RJ

  17. ZaraThud says:

    “If you can’t stand up TO her, how will you stand up FOR her”

  18. Guillaume says:

    Hi Ross,
    I’m french and very interested in your methods and theory but I would like to know if you think that girls are differents according to the nationalities ? And if they are do you know how french girls are differents and what do I have to adapt in your tips ?

    Thank you very much

    • Gullaume,

      There are a few cultural differences; most notably Scandinavian women tend to be more sexually forward, fuck at the drop of a hat, and don’t require you spend money on them.

      Go Sweden, Denmark, Norway and Finland!

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