Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,
Another so-called “axiom” that I can’t STAND… yet another example of how smart men nonetheless get socially programmed into Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs) is this:
“Nice guys finish last.”
So, if I’m following this, women claim (as reinforced by the romance industry) that women want sweet, sensitive, NICE guys… because they, too, are programmed that they’re “supposed” to… but deep down, they want a “bad boy” or even a “jerk” because supposedly they’re more “exciting.”
People: you can’t have it both ways.
For this one student of mine, being a “bad boy” does not come naturally to him. He’s charming, and he’s got girl-getting game. But he thinks something’s “missing” – namely, that “bad boy” persona that he is convinced is the cooter-soaking “cinch” that will have him beating off the babes with a stick…as opposed to…well…you get the picture.
Here’s where this student thinks he’s stuck…
What happens in my own seduction process is that sooner or later, something happens and women decide I fall in the “nice guy” category. I don’t do the “AFC” thing – I do not attach excess meaning to any one woman I’m sarging. I don’t put up with games or nonsense, and I clearly position myself as “the prize” (limited availability).
Some reason though I end up as the guy they want as the “boyfriend” and not the fling. So bottom line, women tend to take more time before hopping in the sack with me because they see me as “boyfriend material” rather than a “disposable fling.” Maybe if I was more of a “bad boy,” the woman would show me her “bad girl” side.
Wow. So women think you’re a prize catch? What a terrible problem to have!
Seriously though, I think there are ways to approach this without having to reinvent yourself as a character from an early Marlon Brando movie.
Perhaps you simply need to better structure her expectations from the beginning. As in, not seeing her more than once a week (instead of “always being there”). Not allowing yourself to be available for large chunks of time (so she sees you as a “prize” she needs to work for, rather than the doormat who’s always on her front step). Or, simply, better screening to find women who really are only looking for flings, if that’s what you want.
Or you may just have to stop being such a champ in the sack that she decides you MUST be a “keeper” and tries to hoard you for herself, ONLY!
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. It’s true both ways: “bad boys” can’t pull off a “nice guy” act anywhere as convincingly as a genuine Nice Guy. What if, instead of trying to be something you’re not, you had a “stealth charisma” that was subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone? Click here to learn how to get it, starting now.
the talk should go sexual faster and you should make a move faster also. get her to confess she’s an adventurous person and then kiss her early on.
As you listen to where she is steering just give her something more arousing to be drawn toward. Fascinating the way people use language as I remember encountering woman who use the word “nice” as a trance word, so describing how nice it would be if she were to kneel in front of you like Madonna’s “like a prayer” visually took things over the edge. I had to agree that was nice!
Dead-on analysis. I tried the “nice guy” thing and the chicas get bored with that real quick. It looks to them as if you have no life or other interests. Make them want to come to you. If you do a good amount of sarging, this is not hard.
I had a gf who split up with me a while back. We now have a decent relationship because I gave her room and stopped acting like she mattered more than anyone else when in fact she didn’t. Keep the girls lined up. The ones that are worth your time will stay in touch.
I used to believe that being a nice guy meant I was a doormat and as I always saw the women go for the jerks (bad boys) then I figured that is what women want, a jerk. For most of my 20′s I was a jerk, treated women poorly and was single for the remainder of my 20′s. I understand that women like exciting guys and they believe that a “bad boy gets their motors runnin’ as they never know what hes gonna do next”.
Instead, I quit e-dating, purchased your material and have gotten to a point where I can intrigue any women I talk to within several minutes. I am in a relationship with a gorgeous redhead and never thought that would have been possible for me. Thanks for the great material (especially the freebies).
Just tell the women up front that you’re only interested in a fling. Then make it clear that you mean it. Have a fling with another hottie and tell her about it. Make it a funny, “nice guy” story with lots of humor and nothing too negative about the real fling. If women are looking at you as “boyfriend” material and you don’t like that view of yourself, then continually do little things you know each particular woman wouldn’t approve of in a boyfriend. Whatever that may be.
Good luck.
I guess.
Here’s the thing: In what way can guys like this BECOME ‘bad boys’ without being truly/dangerously ‘bad’? Train for the WWE? Mug people? Deal drugs?
My idea is, you’re either “bad”, or you’re just posing. Neither is all that great. But if it works for you, go for it.
Why not postion yourself ambigously ? Flash different sides of you as a slot machine ‘s wheels turns? I had a girl say she wasn’t sure if I was bad or good…builds intrigue and mystery which creates more attraction. reminds me of the DC 2000 seminar where mark cunnigham talks about being “complex” Be like Mad Max or Clint Eastwood characters..outside kinda bad but inside basically good
leo durocher,
similar to what i was about to say. women are attracted to MYSTERIOUSNESS, that is all theyre attracted to in jerks, that they dont know whats coming next. however, you dont have to be a ‘bad-boy’ all you need to do is stop her from being able to label you as anything, eg ‘n-guy’ ‘funny guy’ ‘smart guy’ etc etc, yeah, theres more than two! haha. how? lets say youre making her laugh, shell start to think of you as the funny guy… so IMMEDIATELY switch to a deeper conversation (relationships work well), then when she thinks youre really deep, move to something else. by the end, she should have no idea which category she could put you in = MYSTERY!!! she wants more… and this is so easy!!! and honestly WORKS!! the natural connection made between you when you do this is really incredible!! trust me. i believe this is what the man himself Ross Jeffries calls FRACTIONATING!… its very powerful, shell do anything you want to find out more… so intrigued and therefore attracted (and aroused
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… and that also includes turning sexuality on and off, be sexual, then stop, then repeat… mixed in with the other states… if you can be labelled… even if its a good label…. its BAD!!! haha
I need somewhere to start. I keep getting the shit end of the stick with women and what would a good way to start off well?