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    Zarathud October 21, 2010, 6:40 pm

    Very important observation. I’ve been evening out this pendulum myself lately. Hell, I think a lot of it is just having more going on in your life and being “interested in the girl, invested in the skills.” One of those skills is leading a balanced life and when you’re not getting any for the moment, fuck it, find something else to enjoy.

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    Steven October 21, 2010, 9:00 pm

    I think this is a thing that a lot of guys get wrong because they don’t see attraction as a balancing game. At one point I too went from “nice guy” to “douchebag.” Oddly, it did give me some cheap success, but it will turn into same shit different pile (alienation, lack of social prowess).

    Keep up the good work Ross. You have been teaching this stuff longer than I have been alive, but I’ve actually been following your work on-and-off since The Game (although I followed your newsletter before I even heard of Neil Strauss).

    You’re a true legend. Don’t ever stop sharing your wisdom. Also wanted to ask you: have you done any retreats with Shinzen Young lately?

    • Avatar
      Ross Jeffries October 23, 2010, 1:09 pm

      @Steven

      No, I have not done any retreats with Shinzen lately, but I do meditate regularly.

      RJ

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    Oldpuller October 22, 2010, 2:23 am

    I am a married guy who is trying to sort the beta mess I have created with my wife, giving in to her every whim and fancy to appease her emotional cr&p. While trying to sort it out, I think I have been overcompensating by being too domineering and commanding. I have recently been doing things in a more sort of “I will do as I will do, and I am indifferent to your emotional sh%t because it has no effect whatsoever, I will take on board what you have to say, but only if I think its valid and for no other reason” attitude.

    It is difficult to adapt to this whole change, because just like learning to ride a bicycle, or any other skill, it takes time. But it does seem to be working.

    I am learning a lot from your e-mails. Thank You Very Much Ross.

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    zs_leo October 22, 2010, 10:34 am

    Cool stuff, but i don´t see anywhere a practical tool on HOW to integrate these tunes together. any ideas?

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    K.K. October 22, 2010, 11:16 am

    There’s a difference between “Nice” and “Good”. People are generally “Nice” when they want something. A “Nice guy” will hold the door for a woman; a Good man will hold it for anyone. “Nice guys” have a lot of difficulty telling a woman “No”, whereas a Good man can and will when it’s warranted. You can be Good but at the same time bold, decisive, etc.
    (The root of the Spanish word ‘macho’ actually combines all the good masculine qualities women look for in men.)

    • Avatar
      Ross Jeffries October 23, 2010, 1:08 pm

      @KK,

      Great distinction!

  • […] yesterday’s blog post about the dominant vibe, I explained how in over-reaching in trying to be commanding, many otherwise smart guys who come […]

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