A Process, Not An Object

Dear Seeker of Success,

Some time ago, I covered the importance of creating genuine curiosity within yourself as a key to turbo-charging your success with women.  Not just about women, but about EVERYTHING.

Curiosity serves a critical purpose.  What are all the different ways to learn more about a woman in such a way to learn how she processes, so I can use these processes to persuade her more effectively?

Here are some thoughts:

A key point about Speed Seduction® is to look for process rather than object or thing.  Meaning, look for ongoing activity rather than a “thing” or a “person” called a “girl”.

There is no such “thing’ as love, meaning love is not an object like a car or a truck. Our language tends to take ongoing experience, flow and process and turn it into a frozen, fixed, unchanging and unchangeable “entity” or “condition”.

Thus, “I HAVE depression” or “I AM depressed” as opposed to, “I am depressing” or “I am doing depression”.

Next, get curious about your own processes. When you feel excited, how are you creating that?

Get curious about how and when people discovered their interests and passions.

When a woman tells me she does martial arts, I am not so interested in what kind. I am far MORE interested in how she first discovered she enjoyed it. And what is it that maintains that interest and passion? What is it that she finds most enjoyable and most challenging?

Here’s another hint: listen for when women reveal any kind of process that involves their imagination and fantasies and obsessions. If, for instance, she mentions that sometimes she gets bored at work and drifts off into daydreams, don’t go blasting past that.

She’s just volunteered something about a very useful process that we can take hold of and link to ourselves.

Here’s another one: listen for her person metaphor.

I was working with a student who said, “I feel like I am going off the deep end”.

Now, that’s not anything that is literally happening. He wasn’t actually standing at a swimming pool at the deep end. It was a metaphoric way of envisioning his experience that wasn’t serving him.

And he wasn’t even aware he was using a metaphor.

I untied that by forbidding him to use any metaphors when describing challenging emotional flows. He is allowed to say, “I am feeling a state of frustration” or “I am feeling a state of sadness”. That is more literal and more useful.

These are just some hints.

Peace,

RJ

P.S. Learn how to tap the “operating system” of the female psyche to practically force her to become attracted to you when you immerse yourself in the learn-at-home-now Speed Seduction®, starting now.