Dear Seeker of Success,
Nothing makes me feel better than seeing students get fantastic results.
(Actually, I can think of one thing that makes me feel better… he he he)
When people want to change, I look for process, personal symbols, the meaning they attach to things, physiology, feeling flows and all different levels of intervention.
Here’s a question for you.
It’s a very simple one that worked completely with someone I was working with recently. He had some anxiety when approaching beautiful women.
It went like this…
ROSS: “I have a question for you. This question is going to totally change how you think, feel and act from now. Are you ready?”
STUDENT: Yes.
ROSS: “What if you were 100% certain that the beautiful woman who just came into the room, would not understand a single word that you said to her because she didn’t speak your language?
Would you be anxious to go up and speak to her then?
If you knew with absolute certainty that she wouldn’t understand what you were saying anyway, would you have the same anxiety?”
What do you think his answer was?
Leave a comment below that tells me
- what you think his answer was, and
- why you think he answered that way.
Peace,
RJ
His answer would be “No, what would be the point if she could not understand what I was saying.”
His answer was no, he wouldn’t feel as anxious. How could he be anxious anything he would say would fall on ears that couldn’t understand. What the most he could lose?
@Joshua
Correct; he’s no longer focused on having to get her to accept or like him. The pressure is off and in fact, he is no longer thinking of “losing” OR “winning”!
RJ
“i dont think i would have any anxiety at all, in fact i wouldnt even go up and say anything”.
i answered the question for myself.
Great point RJ.
Guys, All She “Knows” About You Is What You Choose To Present To Her.
Other Than That, You’re Just Another Generic Human Male Who’s Stepped Into Her Field of Vision and is Engaging Her in Conversation. If You Reframe “Anxiety” as EXCITEMENT (Which is Exactly What it is) Then Poof! . . . Everything You Label as “Anxiety” Disappears.
@Thomas You win the prize. Exactly correct.
RJ
not much anxiety.. because not only words can express the feelings…its the smile.. the eyes.. the body language that can say more than words.. even if the language is not known….
he would have answered that he does not have anxiety anymore,
he would have answered that way because his brain would have switched of the anxiety story and started thinking that is possible.
Well of course not,she doesn”t speak his language so as long as he seems confident and with write body language he will get the girl
She would be looking at how you express yourself in the way you look and sound, not so much the actual words you use, it would give you a sense of freedom to say just about anything.
He said no because you created anticipation, preframed his reaction, describe the situation with time distortion and he was investing and compliant.
Sarging book, 20 minutes ago:
Me “There is a question…. This question is going to totally change how you think, feel and live from now. Are you ready?”
HB: Yes.
Me: “What if we made sex and only you and me will know it, noone else can discover it?
We had amazing sex and all the time we did it you felt great it’s just between me and you, a secret?
Can you imagine how would it be?
HB: you have fever?
Do I smell a Perfect Strangers approach coming on? Sorry, I’m still bitter about my love being stolen, but I am finding that many women will do small things to aid the healing when I start from a place of not thinking I’m God’s gift.