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  • Batman February 26, 2011, 7:18 pm

    My “awakening” moment …

    Treat ’em Rough… Get More STUFF…


  • Curtis February 26, 2011, 7:23 pm

    I’m 33 and am having a very difficult time with this as well. I’m not a virgin (I have two daughters to prove it!), but I’m coming out of an 11-year marriage, the last six of which were sexless — and while my ex has been with three or four other guys since we split, I’m lucky to have gotten a few first dates.

    I’m intelligent, successful (VP of communications at a major financial institution) and can get along with many different types of people. But when it comes to interacting with women beyond the realm of my profession or friendship, I seize up and fail every time.

    Looking back on how I used to be when I actually did have a few girlfriends and even when I was dating the woman who later became my wife, I think #2 is absolutely my problem. It was much easier in high school and college to have that “present” state and awareness. Then came marriage, work, kids, bills, debt, house…all stuff that requires you to think two, three, four, eighty steps ahead. And now it’s all I can think of. When I meet a woman, I start thinking about all the things that could go wrong down the road, even though I know it’s ridiculous to look at a woman sitting across the room and think about how in five years she could wreck my credit.

    From a cognitive perspective I *know* that’s what I need to change. But I don’t seem to be able to actually change anything. I would love to hear how to do this.

    • Ross Jeffries February 26, 2011, 9:22 pm


      I’m certain you can change it. I’ve got the tools and the experience to prove it. But you can’t do it from the state of mind you’ve been generating. So to learn to breathe, become aware of your feet, and ground into the present moment, while, at the same time, developing the skill to review what you did LATER ON so you extract maximum learning, is key. As well as helping you to manage the inevitable and even accurate emotions of frustration, sadness and even despair that are naturally going to come up. Handled right, they can be transmuted into sources of energy to feed how you would like to be-they become stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks.

      It’s my honor to teach these skills sets to bright and good-hearted guys who are not out to harm but rather to enjoy.


      P.S. Please tell your friends about this blog thread.

  • Dustin February 26, 2011, 7:37 pm


    Thank you, thank you, thank you. To many times I’ve heard people say this, and I just laugh. Now if it’s just some jack ass i don’t know, I let him blow air. I figure let him keep thinking in such narrow minded way, he’s not my friend, why bother. But, with my close guy friends, I’ve had to explain this to them.

    What your saying about consciousness is so true. In addition, I feel that using your intelligence to intuitively read women, is absolutely key. I realized this just a few years ago, and it’s opened so many doors and saved a lot of wasted time. In addition, this is just a great life skill as well.

    That being said, I would still love to hear more of your thoughts, insights, and techniques on this matter in further detail. You’ll only hit the tip of the iceberg with this posting.

    Ross For President !!!! Thanks for the knowledge man.

    • Ross Jeffries February 26, 2011, 9:19 pm


      President? Why would I want a dirty, filthy job as a politician of any rank or order? I’m doing good work.

  • boola February 26, 2011, 7:41 pm

    Hello Ross,

    What do I have to do to be able to do this…?

    Cultivating your creative consciousness so you can effectively tap into your intuition and imagination to make much better calls and flexibly explore much more fun and powerful responses, behaviors, beliefs, insights and practices that actually get you laid.

    Do you use your creativity to freely design yourself into who you want to be? That sounds cool.

    • Ross Jeffries February 26, 2011, 9:18 pm


      We’ll break it out, unpack it and discuss it.

  • James Ko February 26, 2011, 7:58 pm

    Hi Ross

    It’s an interesting idea that you link success with women to present state, present time awareness, creative and spacious consciousness. I can already see how this can be applied to some of the situations I experienced in the past.

    Thank you for this interesting article.



    • Ross Jeffries February 26, 2011, 9:18 pm


      Yes because ultimately, the skill set of getting good with women involves a sub-set of skills that include emotional management, maintaining realistic motivation, correcting mistakes etc.

  • JS February 26, 2011, 8:21 pm

    Very interesting, I would have given one of the answers above.

    • Ross Jeffries February 26, 2011, 9:16 pm


      I know. It’s a common myth and it’s based on a misunderstanding of just what “intelligence” can encompass.

  • David February 26, 2011, 9:03 pm

    I’m in this position. It would be great if you could continue this topic. Thanks 🙂

  • Cameron February 26, 2011, 9:16 pm

    I do like this topic, I would enjoy seeing more on it.

    As for your p.s. it was somewhere around sophomore year of high school when I asked that question and started to turn things around. Had a bunch of girlfriends, and then landed on one that really got to me, and I’ve been trying to recover ever since. It’s much more complicated than that, probably more interesting as well…But that is where it started.

  • Sebastian Peña February 26, 2011, 9:18 pm

    Ross you are the man!!!

  • Cameron February 26, 2011, 9:22 pm

    And if I read your P.S. right my answer would have probably gone more like…..

    Sophomore year of high school when I saw all the “popular” guys with girlfriends and having a great time, while I sat alone, I decided that I should use what I learned in biology class (Scientific method and such, as well as my personal genius.) and figure out how/why they were popular and with girlfriends.

    Hope that *better* answers the question. 🙂


  • Oldpuller February 27, 2011, 1:49 am

    Guys who can chat about meaningless things in the present, who are quick and witty with trivial comments, definitely pull better. But why? Is it because someone who is worried or concerned is not in control of his life, but someone who is quick and witty appears to be? Or is it because he is bringing fun into the life of a human being who is not prone to dwell on the future much?

    I think for most women life is a continuous now. Since it has always been a man’s job to provide, historically, there is nothing she could do about the future. Just flow with it.

    I am very concerned about the future because of the recession and all that, it definitely affects my game. I wish I did not understand anything about economics and politics, I would be a lot happier if I could live in ignorance!

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:48 pm


      No, ignorance is never a good thing. Best to know what is happening.

      I recommend Catherine Austin Fitts blog. I’m a subscriber to her service but the blog is free. She gets some stuff really wrong
      and is a bit paranoid but is mostly correct and in profound and brilliant ways.

  • S February 27, 2011, 2:36 am

    I’m really thinking about becoming gay just in order to get enough sex.
    I know that I’ll barf the first few times but I am that desperate.

    I need help. What I’m telling you is really difficult for me. I’m at wits end.

    I have this to one other person. He was so shocked that on a visit to Israel from the US, brought your Speed Seduction 3.0 with him and sat threw some of the material with me.

    I watched, I listened.It IS great! I can’t seem to make it work for me.

    Here’s the kicker. I have ABSOLUTELY no problem meeting woman I can walk up to ANY woman, approaching her from the side (no direct attack), pick a nonchalant topic and all that, get her to converse, smiles at me etc etc.

    I can’t seem to close or make the patterns work for me.

    I’m a decent looking guy, Radio announcer for years, my voice could make butter melt (good tonality). In fact if I get a woman on the phone I seem to have her PANTING. No joke.

    I don’t know what to do.


    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:46 pm


      Good news, I’m coming to Tel Aviv in April to do a one day seminar. Stay tuned.

  • Dustin February 27, 2011, 3:54 am

    @ Ross

    Not for our country, president of all things related to our favorite pass time. I think I speak for all of us in that regard.

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:45 pm


      If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

  • Zarathud February 27, 2011, 5:30 am

    The answer to the question why is that we are biologically and socially programmed to fail and so are the monkeys for that matter. One man for every 100 or 1000 women would be enough to propagate the species as far as conception alone is concerned. This could be a lifetime study if you really want to know why and enough people have studied it that you can get a pretty good overview in a couple hours reading.

    The good news is that evolution keeps evolving and Ross’s material works wonders when you do the work. My case was pretty severe and I’m still working on it, but I’m now attracting and talking to beautiful women AND enjoying it. That’s 100-1000% improvement from a year ago, starting with “Nail Your Inner Game”, which is still the foundation for continued development.

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:45 pm


      No I don’t think we are “biologically” programmed to fail. No evidence of that. Life produces more than life can sustain, so what happens is that for every 100 million sperm shot out when you spooge, only one can make it. That doesn’t mean most men are destined not to ever fuck.

  • Joe90 February 27, 2011, 6:58 am

    yes Ross please continue discussing this topic

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:44 pm


      You bet your ass I will.

  • Alan February 27, 2011, 7:08 am

    I would even go so far as to say there is no such thing as ‘intelligence’, but just ‘the right frame of mind’. I think anyone can succeed at mathematics or physics or business if they have the right frame of mind. The same goes for succeeding with women.

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:43 pm


      Correct AND incomplete. There is more than “one” frame of mind and knowing how to create a state where we can notice and design what works best is a matter of some inter-locking practices you can learn.

  • Peter Bernhardt February 27, 2011, 7:16 am

    Good topic. i can relate to other things such as building a business or make my wishes come true in some other areas, but women it´s so hard as I get stuck on what to say and am totally blocked!! Tried a few things like meditation etc. but did not get far. Thanks

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:43 pm


      Keep following and participating in this thread. I’m going to be posting some video and other stuff. This matters to me.

  • belaus February 27, 2011, 7:32 am

    it’s that insidious dating frame of thought. it’s so narrow based and the value is put outside of yourself. to the extent that a man displays and enact successful behaviors in other areas in his life. is the extent that these same mechanisms will be to his detriment, when it comes to dating as a methodology for achieving sexual fulfillment with women. FUCK dating, it presupposes intimate romantic activity between two people right? then why shouldn’t it be reserved only for those women you have already been intimate with? i asked myself the same type of question, a little after i was nailed to the cross of my last real-hate-shun-ship lol. and what triggered my awakening is that, i couldn’t find a valid reason for why i wasn’t able to use my brain to achieve sexual fulfillment with women. when it came to this area of my life, i just wasn’t using it. so everything else that makes up the dating frame did the thinking for me, and i reacted. i couldn’t figure out what was wrong, because nothing was wrong. i did everything right, and it was in everyone else’s favor except mines.. i’m one hell of a magician huh lol. this was hard to except at first, you get that separation anxiety from old stagnating and self defeating ways. but it’s even harder when your in your golden years and only have a series of bad moments, and experiences to reflect on. NO, no more denying my sexual nature and desires as a man. cause tomorrow i die, i die.. and that’s the end of me. so while i’m here and still young. i’m going to live. live deliberately in all the areas of my life. especially when it comes to scoring with hot women. any of you who are reading this, and are able to find something inside that relates to what this is all about. get out of your head for a moment, and get into a SS seminar. or you can get the 3.0 study course. you’ve already spent much for nothing, now you’ll spend less and get a “whole” lot more lol.

    non-locally riding with you,


    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:42 pm


      It’s a rude awakening, usually, when we see we’ve been playing inside of games that are DESIGNED to keep us losing and keep us investing more.

      That’s why it helps to bring in laughter and some trickster/coyote/Bugs Bunny to relieve the tension and the shock.

  • Evandro Woaty February 27, 2011, 8:40 am

    YA’A’TEH..Dear Ross,
    Intellingence also means approach with Grace and Charm also not being boring or stupid for wommens..because some of them are completely outside of this sintony…as a Native American man married with a Russian woman..the orientation to be successful with its just give freedom of Inner Outer Beauty..


    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:40 pm

      @Evandro More power to the wolf clan. My father fought in WWII against the Nazis and his infantry division, the 104th, was nicknamed “The Timberwolves”. I still have his howling wolf shoulder patch. I miss my Daddy.

  • RP February 27, 2011, 9:05 am


    u and i have a lot in common buddy…while i only have one daughter, everything else you discuss sounds exactly like my story…it’s acutally creepy the similarities…while im NOT VP of anything…I’m a network admin (AKA dork or someone with money) to most women…anyways…i realize i really need to start envisioning what i used to do before i do it with women, and i think i can have the success i deserve…i need he nice guy to die a little bit, but i cant figure out how to restrain him.

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:39 pm


      “Nice” is limited. “Pleasant” is power, held in proper check and exercised with precision and elegance. I’m NOT “nice” but I can be quite pleasant.

      Restraining doesn’t work. Re-training does. Better orientation. Don’t try to redraw the map. Drive right off it and find out what is real.

  • Dan February 27, 2011, 9:23 am

    English is not my primary language, so pardon my grammar. I can definitely relate to your student. I, too, am extremely bright, at least that’s what other people think about me. I just received a PhD (summa cum laude) in physics and have a pilot’s license, so I guess I should have a couple of things going for me. I had just one relationship with a wonderful woman in my 29 years (thanks to some playful teasing, actually), but that was abroad and basically only lasted a couple of days.

    During the last couple of months, I got to spend time with a super-sensual, super-confident, extremely ambitious and independent 23-year old who went to martial arts training with me, and she showed some obvious interest. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in my car next to her and “in my head”, I kissed her, after something suggestive that she said … it was like being in trance. But something held me back in real life and she left. I then sent her some weird messages about how I liked her and that I’m shy, and I guess I tried to trick her into liking me, and I totally blew it forever. And I could still kick myself in the balls for it (ehm. I guess I need to do some venting right now.)

    But I’m slowly grasping that women do like me (if I don’t get all weird over them, of course), and that I have to drop the need for certainty and perfection in life’s situations. So yeah, Ross, you should definitely speak to us academic types who over-analyze and talk themselves out of doing “the man’s job”.

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:38 pm


      Yes. Many of us have a bad/inaccurate map of how women respond and what they expect. We don’t need “permission” to get physical and we dont’ need guarantees in life IF we have a good relationship to uncertainty and a fantastic process for learning from every interaction.

      What if your beliefs with women were these:

      1. When I don’t know what to do, I take a bold step forward.

      2. I can, will and DO decide what meaning I give and what I learn from MY each and every interaction with MY women.

      3. I will either enjoy getting what I want(or better) or I will enjoy learning what I need to get what I want(or better), or BOTH.

      4. I’m interested in the girl but INVESTED in my SKILLS.

      Imagine I took you back through time and installed those beliefs and worldview in your head when you were 15 and you had carried them with you up until the present moment. What would have been different in your experiences and how will you continue to claim your power and your success with YOUR women who please, satisfy and delight you in every way NOW?

      This is why I get paid the big bucks. And this is free advice! I LOVE MY JOB!

  • Panos February 27, 2011, 10:29 am

    May be am a greek Man
    and I don’t get along in english…

    But in this article I feel you very very much!
    Because I never had a girlfriend,
    And I still trying the applications just for fan!
    And who knows? May be tommorrow is the day of my life!

    Thank You!

  • Wilson February 27, 2011, 11:58 am


    I must say you are only “GURU” in the seduction community. You must take full credit for that. There are countless men who are frustrated and their experiences push them deeper in the rubble of confusion.

    It’s like a car with its one wheel stuck in the sand. The harder you spin it to get out, the deeper you get stuck. You need is tow truck standing on a safe ground to pull that car out of the sand. Ross, you are the tow truck driver. Your truck, rope and hook are Speed Seduction.

    I am deeply stuck, so far has not seen any light. One of my dear friend was in same condition as me. I told him about your self study course and he is back driving again just under 3 months. Happy!

    You need to give a special course for getting us out of stuckness. If not, I have to get your personal 1on 1 coaching this year. 1 on 1 coaching is expensive, but I can’t stay stuck in the sand forever!

    Just a thought… Overeating and overweight is another area of life, lots of people are stuck. I hope you can design a program for them to get out of their vicious cycle!

    God bless you for everything you do.


    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:33 pm


      Interesting metaphor.

      Actually, “you” are not “stuck”. “You” are simply running patterns and programs that consistently get you the result of going nowhere.

      The steps to freedom are:

      1. creating a spacious place in the mind where you can SEE the programs and patterns WITHOUT fighting them or adding any power/energy to them.

      2. Taking the momentum that they have built up over the years and redirecting it to new patterns and programs that serve you

      3. Creating a great set of diagnostics so you can tell when you are on track and when you need to correct course

      I recommend my Nail Your Inner Game Program to assist you on getting unstuck. And/or join my Coaching Program For $97 a month you can talk to me live 4 times a month. Twice on a group phone bridge. Once by private cell phone and once by video to video when I do my once a month office hours.

  • J$ February 27, 2011, 12:21 pm

    I always fill in the blanks before the future happens. This has plagued me my whole life. In an effort to control my life, outcome and surroundings, I think through everything and most of the time the way I “see” the future never happens the way I was thinking about it.

    I am not talking about visualizing, but making up “reasons” or having “conversations” in my own head.

    Damn those who never taught us men properly when we were growing up. It amounts to child abuse.

    • Ross Jeffries February 27, 2011, 12:28 pm


      The key here is to be literal and not metaphorical. There are no actual “blanks” that you “fill in”. You are just talking to yourself in your head in a way that doesn’t serve you. As long as you buy into and language the metaphor, you will stay stuck. The moment you get literal about it and see it for what it is: talking to yourself on the inside-you will rob it of much of its power.

      What do you do then? Spend time just watching/listening to the dialog and noting when it changes speed/volume etc and when it stays the same.

  • belaus February 27, 2011, 1:07 pm

    i personally use johnny knoxville as a resource lol, and the ironic irony of this poker game that we call our current civilization. is that in most areas, it’s those that are perceived as being most trustworthy that’ll get ya.


    • Ross Jeffries February 28, 2011, 1:15 pm


      Ha ha ha

  • Simon B. February 27, 2011, 2:59 pm

    Yes, just like you say in the blog with your client-I too am 29 never had a girlfriend,lay-I have been very close but bad timing prevented it! This is exactly the type of topic i have been waiting for as i have a great deal of your material already-and helped me immensely!! I am in the middle of boldly stepping forward and rewiring my self with all new beliefs and behaviours to allow me to succeed as i can and should. Great stuff Ross i eagerly await your expansion on the topic! Many Thanks

    • Ross Jeffries February 28, 2011, 1:15 pm


      Coming up later this week. Stay tuned.

  • Admin February 27, 2011, 10:36 pm

    yes but the constigency can digrees with women, although a linear solution would not work greatly. It seems that the ime is wasted towards a variety of coefficients, the guy needs to apply his skills from business towards the ladies, other wise there will be no accomplishment

    • Ross Jeffries February 28, 2011, 1:14 pm


      “Constigency”? What the fuck does that mean?

  • bullet February 28, 2011, 12:49 am

    You said “Changing the orientation of your thinking.
    Cultivating the skill set of present state and present time awareness”

    I’m lost, truly lost.I know what you saying but I have no idea of how
    achieve what you just mentioned”.
    Will you elaborate on this?

    • Ross Jeffries February 28, 2011, 1:14 pm


      How about I post some videos on EXACTLY how to do this?


  • Zarathud February 28, 2011, 6:48 am


    Thanks for the clarification. My intended meaning was that biology drives the sociology and the results of both need no longer apply and can be changed. Thanks for all the free info. I’m adding the following beliefs to my daily practice (the last one is already the last sentence of every entry in my seduction journal).

    1. When I don’t know what to do, I take a bold step forward.

    2. I can, will and DO decide what meaning I give and what I learn from MY each and every interaction with MY women.

    3. I will either enjoy getting what I want(or better) or I will enjoy learning what I need to get what I want(or better), or BOTH.

    4. I’m interested in the girl but INVESTED in my SKILLS.

  • Lovemoore February 28, 2011, 9:42 am

    Hi Ross

    It’s me Nathan aka Lovemoore, I can’t be a virgin either but last year when there was a recession, my lover left me for another and that’s when I caught a wake up call that I needed to change. What I realised was that in South Africa, if you don’t take her out, read her feelings thoroughly and respond accordingly then you’re not in a good relationship. But when I downloaded your seduction starter kit, the truth was revealed coupled with better women.

    Your approach to approaching women is different because when you tap into her feelings and emotions and then link them back to yourself, there’s no way she can hide anything away from you when she gets aroused and the game of worshipping women without them having any positive emotions whatsoever about you falls out. In around 3 weeks from now I’ll order Speed Seduction 3.0 as I got a new job and it’s better to have better women around. From the personal side of me, I just want to take this time to say “be my master and teacher for life”.

    All the best Ross

    • Ross Jeffries February 28, 2011, 1:13 pm


      Absolutely. And it is natural because it is using what SHE is providing. So she’s doing the “heavy lifting” so to speak. Hope to see you at a seminar/event soon.


  • Æzen February 28, 2011, 2:09 pm

    I’m 24 and a self confessed geek =] I’ve had good success with girls. Even moreso having discovered the PUA community (helped me understand, focus and refine what I was doing right. And more importantly, to understand and then manage where I was going wrong).

    This idea that ‘smart guyz can’t pull’ caught my interest for a few reasons. Not least because I’m an enthusiastic intellectual and find philosophy and the sciences far more interesting than the average person. So to some extent I feel like I can relate. Not because I believe it’s true, not in the slightest, but because my sticking points still come from my over analytical, serious and ‘boring’ intellectual side. And then my best successes have come from my playful cheeky ‘random’ side. My problem is that I don’t know how I do it. How do I generate and get into those free flowing, playful and ‘randomly’ creative states?? I don’t know if I have unreal expectations, but I kinda wish I knew how to do it when ever I needed/wanted to… instead of being dictated by my mood. Still, I do ok… I just want to be more consistent.

    Imo guyz who feel their intelligence is a problem are caught in a self-defeating belief. That it is their attitude towards their intelligence that is the real issue. And guyz that are in a habit of ‘technical’ thinking look at relationships with their ‘technical’ attitude. So they’re trippin over themselves and they think its their intelligence thats getting in the way when really its their perspective/approach/attitude towards relationships that inhibits their ability to attract women and take advantage of their intelligence instead of resenting it.

    Intelligence itself has never been an issue for me. In my experience it’s always been about how comfortable and confidently I am in presenting my intellect and portraying myself. I used to be scared that I’d offend people if I talked about intellectual topics, but I’ve realised/learned how to be both honest to myself and my needs for intellectual stimulation as well as realising that I don’t need to be ashamed or hold myself back to appease the short comings of others. It’s not my problem if others are too narrow minded to explore philosophy and ethical issues, or otherwise don’t care to improve themselves and learn. From this it’s become a filtering mechanism, and I’ve noticed how once I’ve already established a basic level of interest and attraction (by initially being more playful) that girls will try to qualify themselves against this ‘bar of standards’.

  • Waleed February 28, 2011, 2:56 pm

    Your description exactly fits me (age included!!) – please provide more!

  • Seemingly Little Problem! March 1, 2011, 6:05 pm

    Ok, I have a Seemingly little Problem…

    I think this is exactly what I was looking for!

    You see I consider Myself an intelligent person, college education is there, and currently initiating my own business! But most of my gf’s have been dumb to say the least, and I’m currently STUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

    I’ve been dating for almsot 3 years and don’t have a way out…

    Need Help Please!!! I don’t think its who I want to marry, just too many gifts and invitations! I feel like a victim. There is this huge tremendous dissonance or friction within that just is overbearing!

    I don’t know…hlp

  • Nadeem March 3, 2011, 7:39 pm

    Ross please do more on it, thats the question I have been asking myself for a while?

  • treyy March 5, 2011, 5:16 pm

    We need to know how to emotionally connect with women AND how to know when that connection is deep enough to procede on….

  • Qwick March 5, 2011, 5:27 pm

    We need to know how to emotionally connect with women AND how to know when that connection is deep enough to procede on…. No lines, no routines, no BS, just how to make and recognize a deep emotional connection

  • J March 14, 2011, 3:43 pm


  • John Lavi March 16, 2011, 7:11 pm

    would love to learn more about this topic. I would have guessed it boils down to either a limiting decision or a negative emotion this guy is holding on, and will wait for the guru to make that call.
    I believe I am intelligent person, I would not go as far as “extremely smart” ,and I feel I am still way far from where I would like to be with women, never the less, RJ is on my side (on my pc I mean) since not so long ago ..

  • Nabs May 19, 2011, 7:27 am

    I am considered very IQ smart. I am considered very successful. I am considered very good with women. Yet I have not had an LTR that lasted more than 2 years. There is a pattern of pulling but not being able to make it work. I can’t get past the 2 year mark, and I dont know why. I know this is not exactly what you were talking about in our post, but it is a related subject. Smart but unable to get laid? Smart but unable to sustain a relationship? Same same, but different as they say in India.

  • Javy August 6, 2013, 10:25 am

    “I Just Don’t Get It..Why Can’t I Use My Brains To Succeed With Women The Way I Have To Succeed In The Rest Of My Life?”
    Ross, we have learn that the real succeed in life is getting money, master degrees,success in bussines, get the house of your dreams(real thing is advertising by media), have you ever thought if your dad even older brother, best friend or whoever said the way you should think, feel when you appproach a girl? NOBODY did that, you just were following the herd, BE A GENTLEMAN WITH GIRLS every one else says that, still following the herd, behaviour equals big mistake, attitud is the rigth way, until you do really know and understand women mind work and feel you are a BIG magnet for them.

  • a m August 6, 2013, 3:40 pm

    My opinion, and I hope you really disagree with it, is that learning a language to seduce women is the most silly thing that a man can do…. unless he loves this stuff more than women.

  • Jerry August 7, 2013, 2:35 am

    My awakening moment for me was when I used to cry myself to sleep after I used to go out every single weekend trying to get somewhere great with women and became scared of walking up to women

    I said to myself something must change. I searched far and wide and I found you Ross and your teachings. One of the best choices I ever made. I’m not getting the success I truly like yet and I took the metaphor of the pitbull.

    What I found was how heavily I was influenced by dating and the dating mind viruses otherwise known as conditioning. It was those that had the impact of being unwillingly subservient to women according to dating. The tools and the learnings are fine I can make great sense out of them. What I found was that I made “prayers” to my superconsious affirming the mind viruses and misery dating and to top it off I formed my intents on those back them. Add in some auto-pilot and the conditioning that occured would of made propaganda machines cry tears of joy. But they are becoming undone and redone.

    One day I wish to write you a true testimonial Ross from how I was in the years before until the beggining of my fulfillments.

    Best wishes Ross

  • Edward Harshman April 27, 2017, 2:32 pm

    Extricating myself from a difficult divorce, I recall attending a session of yours in 1995 and shortly afterward breaking my neck in an ocean-swimming accident that temporarily paralyzed my arms and nearly killed me. I entered a rehabilitation program (as a doctor-in-training, not as a patient) soon afterward and was horrified that there was no mention of sexual attractiveness management as a component of helping the severely injured resume an out-of-hospital life. My dismay with the lack of instruction on how to be sexually attractive, as by you, has got me into difficulty with the state medical board (I am a physician now). A wheelchair-bound paraplegic man worked at that teaching hospital and eagerly borrowed the course tapes that I had bought from you.

    Your theories supply desperately needed information to us men. I am deeply grateful.

    Blessed (or cursed) with above-normal intelligence (I mentioned that in Newark in 1995 to you), I have put together my own theory about what women find attractive. It overlaps and agrees with yours and takes a different approach. Your theories complement it and I have no disagreement whatever with you.

    1 Women generally have more interconnections between the left and right halves of their brain than do men. Infer that on average women have a form of intelligence that men can never grasp, just as an alien from the fourth dimension will never be able to show us what that fourth dimension is.

    2 Women’s thought processes, though never understandable in full by us men, have characteristics that we men can perceive. One of them is being emotion-driven, and like an old analog tuner a woman’s thought processes require calibration from time to time. Provide it, and a woman’s emotions can be experienced freely; for she knows that you will guide her into rational thought if she starts to deteriorate. Deny it, and she will not perceive you emotionally (friendzone) or, as many militant feminists have done, go nuts.

    3 Emotional content of what is said is far more important than the exact words or any step-by-step logical analysis that a man would typically use. (Your patterns work, and they do not follow an obvious step-by-step plan when their literal content is all that one notices.) The griping about remarks that are taken out of context, when their literal meaning (to men) is not debatable, is very credible when a man remembers that the intent, when women speak to each other not about productive or quantifiable concepts, is to transmit and receive emotional messages not packets of computer data.

    4 Prefer “I have these interests and passions and enjoy these activities; do you want to join me?” to separating life’s workload and leisure-time activities from a totally disconnected process of seeking women; if a man’s mate-seeking acts are not intrinsically related to his true passions then an honorable woman will feel the disconnection and not want him (and a materialistic woman–who needs her anyway?).

    Am I on the right track?

    • Ross Jeffries May 24, 2017, 10:51 am

      In a few places this takes a slightly different turn than my own findings, but everything you say makes sense and has truth.

      Up until now I never thought of the idea of “sexual attractiveness management” or that rehab programs, as a whole, lack any sort of training or guidance to help someone who is now either “differently abled” or on a slow path to recovery, still enjoy the Sargy side of life. A person in that state has typically taken a major blow by the hand dealt to them (see what I did there – twice!) and losing the sexuality and attractiveness side to them is often a long-term (and avoidable) side effect.

  • Simon April 29, 2017, 7:18 pm

    I was trying to figure out the meaning of love, just because a friend and I were talking. And I failed, of course. But I did realize that “love” makes me happy. Very supernaturally happy in a grounded way. Romantic love, sexual love, family love, love of friends. It makes me happy.
    Then I realized that being attached to my ideas of what a relationship should be like – makes me unhappy. The more strongly attached, the more unhappy. For example, when I was getting divorced and terrified of what it would be like to make a new life. And if I dwell on it, I get unhappy when I meet a woman and things don’t go the way I need them to.
    So since I like being happy, and don’t like being miserable, maybe I’ll try being less attached to what happens with women.

    • Ross Jeffries May 24, 2017, 10:47 am

      With some modifications, the above could be a language pattern.


      Read what you write.

      See what I mean?

  • Paul May 5, 2017, 10:39 am

    The girl I have been dating has started cancelling dates without rescheduling. Reasons such as stuff to do or doing something w my mom. Im 63 she is 40. She also cuts my hair at TGF salon which is where I met her.

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