Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

A big part of achieving ultimate success with women you truly desire comes from understanding of the concept of “frames”; the overall guidelines through which you present everything else you do.

I truly believe that understanding how to fit all of your thoughts, actions, responses and ideas with women into the right frame…the frame of NEVER supplicating, begging or “asking”, but instead, offering challenges, structuring opportunities and eliciting/evoking processes is the single most important key to making every other aspect of your success with women at least three to four times more effective and powerful.

A student asked me this question:

> Is a frame just anything that can make people see things differently? So how do you CONTROL the frame under those circumstances?
>
> Essentially, the idea is you are supposed to hold a given point of view – “I’m testing to see if I can find someone who measures up to my standards”. Sure, that makes sense. But it still doesn’t leave me feeling like I understand the whole process. It is doesn’t leave me feeling like I could create a different frame for a different circumstance.

RJ here.  The frame, among other things, is the underlying, UNSPOKEN set of assumptions about WHO holds the power, WHO has what is of value, WHO must please WHOM.

Let’s chunk this down.

She says something like, “I just can’t find a guy who can treat me like a lady”.

An AFC would ask what she means and then act as she describes. She has set the frame that SHE is the prize who must be one.

We Speed Seduction® Masters turn it around, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I can’t find a lady who can move me past LUST into TRUE passion…you know…where you aren’t just feeling hot and sticky in the moment..you don’t just give all that you have…but you find things coming forth in you that you never knew were there…just waiting to be satisfied.”

You see what I mean? That’s just one example.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Want to learn how to present in a way that is much more receivable to the feminine psyche and mind…receivable in a way that just lets it slide right in…deep into the place where her wildest fantasies spring to life and action, with you?  Get my Frame Control and Sexual Themes course and claim your 16+ hours of teaching on this topic now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

2011 is right around the corner.

As the year edges towards a close and a New(Nude) Year approaches, I’ve been thinking about the most common “game errors”  I  have seen over the past year, and over the past 20 years of my teaching and coaching.

Many of these are quite subtle and act quite hypnotically.

That is, they are:

1. Out of conscious awareness. Guys are doing them, but they aren’t aware they are doing them because they are so much of the operating code/routine/sub-routines of the guy’s consciousness.  They build his worldview and become what he views the world “through”. As such, they have a powerful lock on thinking and choice.

2. They have a momentum of their own.  I like to use the term “cognitive” momentum and emotional inertia. Meaning that these ways of thinking, acting and responding have been going on for so long and for so many repetitions, they take on a life of their own.

3. Finally, it is an odd quirk of human nature that when something doesn’t work, we tend to do it more, or harder or louder.  Which only adds to the momentum of the less than useful pattern.

That said, here is the A-Z of failure with women. See if you can’t pick out which of these is operating in your mind/life/actions and make a determination to “de-bug” yourself in 2011.

A, Having the wrong set of ideas about female sexuality.  Assuming women need love or a relationship or even a “date” to really want/crave/enjoy sex.

B. Having no standards other than physical appearance. As I’ve said before the man who knows how to screen out the wrong kind of women will wind up having a lot more choices, not a lot less.  This takes some thinking through.

C. Having emotional traumas around sex that you need to resolve.

D. Not having a good rehearsal practice to get you in state before you sarge.

E. Not having a good review strategy to extract maximum learning after each sarge.

F. Having the incorrect ratio of thinking to acting.  Conceptual understanding is very important, yes.  But ultimately you learn most and best from also having interaction with real women in the real world.  (Until you’ve tried something, anything, at least 10 times, you don’t even begin to have good data points!)

G. Being invested in the girl, but only interested in the skills. REVERSE THIS!

H. Having an orientation that focuses on what you did incorrectly and making the mistake about your identity, rather than your behavior.  As in, “I always fuck up”.  ”I AM a fuck up”.  Dis-identify with the mistake and extract the lesson. This is harder than it sounds.

I. Related to H, thinking that your poor results are about “who” you are.  Or “because” you are: bald, fat, ugly, old, skinny, too young, etc.  This false “cause and effect” thinking is a killer to breakout success. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!

J. Crushing on a girl/one-itis. Do I have to explain this?

K. Trying to “figure out” girls who are wasting your time. If you find yourself asking, “Why isn’t she calling back?”  or  ”Why can’t I get her on the phone now?” you are taking on a “ruminating” state of mind. Stop it. Take action of some kind or put her out of her mind.

L. Needing female validation.

M. Not spotting the signs she is interested.

N. Failing to escalate physically.

O. Taking a woman’s first response at face value or set in stone.

P. Thinking any woman is “out of your league”.  Bullshit.

Q. Being in a hurry as opposed to being quick. Quick is fantastic. Hurry is disaster.

R. Being horny instead of being sexual.

S. Hiding your intent. Pretending you just want to be friends when you want a piece of her ass.

T. Seeing what you want to see in the woman rather than what she actually presents. Idealizing her in any way.

U. Failing to demonstrate that you are willing to walk away.

V. Failing to challenge her/call her on her bullshit.

X. Failing to set the frame as being a sexual one; letting her cast in the role of “advisor”.

Y. Not being able to see and respond to the actual emotional need she is expressing as contrasted with her literal words.

Z. Sticking with one vibe-funny, commanding, understanding her world, vulnerable-instead of varying it up and demonstrating/offering each at different times.

There you have it.  If you have any of these, make a determination that 2010 spells the end of it and 2011 is the start of something way, way better.

Peace, piece and I love teaching,

RJ

Dear Speed Seduction® Students,

One of the biggest discussions in the “PUA” community is about being “Alpha” or “dominant”.

As I’ve said before, when you are seeking answers from “experts” beware of answers that are half true or incomplete.

In this video, I go into what it means to be dominant, as contrasted with abusive or domineering. Also take note of the responses of the female volunteer and notice how I am very subtle in my dominance.

Watch the video then tell me what you think:

demodominanceblogpost

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If you missed the NYC Seminar, you have a chance to join us in London on August 13-15.  Can you make it?  Click here to learn more.

P.P.S. With what I teach you throughout my Speed Seduction® 3.0 System, you’ll remain calmly in control as the effortless seduction architect of every interaction and situation.

It will give YOU all the confidence of a man who maintains control and exudes a dominance that women find appealing.

Claim yours and take charge of your girl-getting game today!

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

All human beings experience a fair amount of self-doubt from time to time.  Especially when it comes to approaching women.

Ever found yourself ten feet away from a chick who was the best looking babe you’d seen all year (or at least all week), there all by herself in the cafe reading a book, looking like she’d probably like it (or at least wouldn’t slap you silly) if you went up to her right now. 

But you don’t do it.

Instead, you have this endless, pointless conversation in your head and find any excuse to avoid putting yourself out there.

Eventually she pays the check, closes the book, and walks out. 

Whew – at least you didn’t get rejected. By her at least.  You just want to…

…Tell Your Doubting Voice To “Shut Up Already”
So You Can Get Some Action

Here’s the difference between a Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training (MIT) vs. the Average Frustrated Chump (AFCs): the MIT has learned to recognize when the “doubt delay dialogue” is happening (or about to happen), and stops those feelings dead in their tracks.

How do YOU Get this?

You see, developing a “monitoring” state or awareness that checks in and recognizes when you are beginning to have less than useful responses; THIS awareness is a great gift. It’s quite magickal.

You see, NO ONE is in a good state ALL the time. That’s not what we want to aim at.

What we DO want to aim at is knowing our own unique patterns of thinking, feeling, acting and being able to recognize quickly when we are going in a less than useful way; interrupt it effectively, and get back on track.

This skill isn’t very sexy; it’s not like being able to levitate, turn invisible or walk through a wall. But it is very, VERY powerful.

I’ll tell you what IS sexy: the results.  It’s sexy when she puts that book aside and turns to you, and you use the vibe as a down payment for an all-expenses-paid-for-two journey on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Quieting the rancor of self-doubt is based on a belief: that your feelings and thoughts and responses CAN be put in your awareness and CAN be brought under a good measure of direction and control. And it’s based on a value that doing so is VALUABLE, even necessary.  Click here to learn what gets you this awareness and control…

Hey Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

Want to know one of the major reasons why so many guys just absolutely CRUSH IT in business, life, and their pursuit of happiness, EXCEPT when it comes to mastery and mega-success with the ladies?

HINT: It’s all around you.

Watch this video (from one of my recent seminars) and tell me what you think:

datingframebrainwashsmaller

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. What else has you “stuck” when it comes to your girl-getting game, whether you may realize it or not?  Want to find out?  Then you need to check out my Nail Your Inner Game course.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Recently, a student of mine asked me what to do when dealing with women who knew him before he became a Speed Seduction® Master.  In other words, back when he was an Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) who got in his own way when it came to succeeding with women.

Now that he’s speaking to them in ways that capture and excite their deepest emotions, aren’t they going to feel strange when they compare it to how he used to act with them? How they used to feel around him?

I immediately asked him,

“If you suddenly won the Euro Lottery and went from having no money
to having $500 million, would you worry about how other people adjusted to it?
Would they have a problem adjusting to it?”

I don’t think so.

In the same vein, how you present yourself to the world now is what matters most. Who you create yourself to be and how you communicate through that is infinitely more important than how others used to see you and even how you used to see yourself.

Remember, you alone control the vibe you put out to the world. Do this, and that hot chick from college who shot you down as an Average Frustrated Chump will quickly learn to see you as an Amazing Fascinating Champ.

I’ve been both. And I can tell you Amazing Fascinating Champ feels a whole hell of a lot better.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S.  Remember, it’s not about who you were then.  It’s about who you design yourself to be right now. All of this is completely under your control. Find out how here.