Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

When we consider the concept of “charisma”, there are two elements I often point out – particularly when they find themselves rehearsing their lines or what they’re going to say when they approach a woman.

These are: a) stepping into the unknown and b) holding space for the other person to have whatever initial response they are going to have.

A student asked me whether that means “surrendering” to the unknown (a), and making yourself vulnerable of being open to receive (b).

He was close, but here is the true meaning. If you’re feeling the need to “rehearse” or play it in your mind 100 times before just walking up to her, consider this…

1) Stepping into the unknown and being truly ok without having to know ahead of time what is going to happen. You accept that you don’t know, and maybe at first that you don’t like that you don’t know, but you don’t dramatize it or spin around it.

You just don’t know. And you decide to move forward anyway.

2)  By hold space I mean:

• It’s ok for them to have their FIRST response. You don’t take their FIRST response as being their final response.
• You don’t REQUIRE their permission OR their support for your new moves and your courageous action.

A lot of guys think that a woman OWES it to them to be polite open because the guy is willing to take the “risk” to go up and meet them/talk to them first.

Well, that attitude is bullshit. The woman hasn’t signed a contract saying that she is REQUIRED to support you in your efforts to improve your sex/love/social life.

You’re stepping forward because it is what YOU , as an adult, have chosen to do and because you are determined(DETERMINED) to bust through your limitations.

Now, can you be determined AND relaxed AND even have a sense of humor about it?

You can if you know how to untangle yourself.

Let me clarify one more thing: just because you don’t REQUIRE certainty or REQUIRE the other person to have a “good response” and be supportive doesn’t mean you don’t take those things as being good or something of value.

It’s just not what determines your stepping forward.

Some guys are waiting to be super-powerful and radiating charm BEFORE they make a move.

Well, yes, you CAN rehearse in charm etc, for sure.

But for some guys, it’s a mistake because they are already too much in their heads and, or THEM, the rehearsing just gets in the way of taking action.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. What would life be like with no further need for assurance or guarantee of success of any kind before you took bold (and fun) seduction steps, as you walked like a giant where other people fear to step? It’s time to get off your excuse-making, “I understand but don’t do it” ass, and get moving right now in the real world with the success you’ve always wanted.  Click here to Nail Your Inner Game…

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In the spirit of Thanksgiving (USA), I challenge you to thank yourself by simply “letting go” of what has held you back until now.

Look: in life, we all make mistakes.

When it comes to learning Speed Seduction®, and indeed, the entire subject of success with women, you can count on TWO things:

1. You WILL make mistakes. Mistakes in judgment. Mistakes in execution. Mistakes in what you leave out. Mistakes in what you put in. Expect it.
2. No matter HOW prepared you think you are, women will test you and women WILL surprise you. Just when you THINK you have a girl “all wrapped up” she will pull something out of her hat (or a##). So, like I have said in my original book and have repeated over and over, when you start really liking a girl, just remember: you never know where you stand with a girl until you make that first, serious physical move. Until then, it’s all talk, talk, and sometimes just play-acting. Sad but true.

In any event, I have learned that, too often, guys hold onto their “failures” and dwell on them. It’s like obsessively chewing on the same wad of gum for year after year, as it collects more gunk, bacteria, mouth goo, etc. etc. etc. You wouldn’t do that, would you? But so many guys dwell on their “failures”. Or on how some girl screwed them over (instead of screwing them!) back when they were still “nice guys”.

Look, the problem with dwelling on all this is, what you dwell on, you are actually just rehearsing and retraining your mind to do it again the next time around!

That is the problem with “slumps”. The more you dwell on how awful you are doing, the more you carry those emotions into your efforts and it is like putting a 100 lb lead weight around each leg and then trying to jump out a 30 foot hole!

And again, what you mentally dwell on with strong emotion is what you communicate to your subconscious mind that you want it to do!

Despite all your positive programming, which I believe in and teach, your NEGATIVE programming thru dwelling on mistakes will probably more likely influence how you think, act and respond, BECAUSE IT IS MOST FAMILIAR AND IT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN WITH STRONG EMOTION.

Remember this: the unconscious is most impressed by anything that includes strong emotion, repetition, and strong belief. It does what is most familiar, not what you necessarily most consciously may want.

So avoiding this negative loop requires better attitudes toward learning. It requires the discipline and awareness to notice when you are beating on yourself and to stop it. And it requires acceptance of mistakes.

If you find yourself dwelling on the past or getting mad that you are not making fast enough progress, repeat this out loud.

Forgiving others, and letting them go is good training for forgiving myself. So even if they don’t “deserve” it I will do it for my own sake. I will either get what I want or learn what I need to. Mistakes are just MARKERS; marking out where I can step into new freedom, choice, power and growth.

I may wish I had been born more evolved or perfect, but THIS is my path and I embrace it. I may not always like it, I may slip and grumble, BUT THIS IS MY PATH. I will let my learnings pull me forward. I will never stop learning til I draw my last breath and in that last breath I will learn what THAT is like as I embrace the Source of All Learning … right now, today.

Allow this new attitude and new learning into your future seductions. And even imagine that idea going off into your past, adding its energy into your past as well. Come up to the present with this image inside you. Be thankful for your past; as it has helped you become the person you are today.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Peace and piece,

- RJ

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P.P.S. Now, what if YOU had such an effective, sure way to learn from every situation, that you could develop a “stealth charisma” that was subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone?

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