This “Answers to Students” module is for Marcel B. This will be

short but sweet. This is a really good one. I can’t think of too

many situations or questions that are as common and pervasive as

this one. I know you’re going to enjoy it, so let’s get right to

it.

 

Here’s his email. Essentially what he’s saying is that he

doesn’t have approach anxiety except when he gets to women who

are like an HB eight or higher. Then he shuts down. He says,

“What can I do to overcome the shutting down?”

 

In essence, we have a guy who does well with women until they

get to be like an eight, nine or 10, whatever the hell that

means for him. Then he starts to have a problem. Does this sound

familiar? I’ll bet it does.

 

As a teacher, I have to listen to how people are languaging

things and say, “Is that really the situation? Is the way he’s

languaging this controlling the way he can see his options,

therefore controlling what he can do and the results?” I’ve said

this time and again: The way in which you think about a subject

determines what you can see as a choice, and therefore what you

can do and what results you get. 

 

Thinking about it as shutting down isn’t accurate. I don’t think

that’s what’s going on. From my experience teaching thousands of

guys since 1993, I can tell you that when it comes to beautiful

women, guys don’t shut down, they amp up. Basically, there’s so

much electricity and energy vibrating through their neurology

because of all the sexual excitement that the higher assemblies

of the brain just get shut down.

 

As my teacher, Shenzen Young, likes to say, there’s only so much

real estate in consciousness. If all of your focus and attention

is going into the feelings rushing through your body, you don’t

have a lot left over for the cognitive parts of your mind. 

 

The first thing you have to realize is how you are languaging

the problem. How are you talking to yourself about it? What

metaphor are you using? The metaphor of shutting down is not an

accurate metaphor. When you pick a metaphor, a way of describing

and talking about something, you want to make it is accurate,

matches what’s going on and is empowering and useful. It has to

be accurate, empowering and useful.

 

Let’s start putting this into perspective. Way back when I wrote

my first book in 1988, I said, “One woman, one vote.” On

Election Day, that super-smoking hot, beautiful woman gets the

same number of votes as her disgustingly fat, ugly, hairy

sister.

 

When it comes to very beautiful women, guys tend to think they

have some kind of universal beautiful-woman-to-beautiful-woman

hotline. Men think that if one woman rejects them, somehow some

instant telepathic message goes out to every beautiful woman,

and from then on, their vaginas, arms and nasty bits are shut

down to you forever. In fact, there is no such thing. There’s no

universal communications system. It’s one woman, one vote. 

 

The next thing I want to tell you is far more pervasive. You

don’t realize how true this is. She may not think that she’s

very hot. Even if she’s drop-dead gorgeous and makes your gonads

go at warp speed, she may think she’s not good looking at all.

I’ve seen this time and again. Drop-dead beautiful women may

have half a molecule of fat on their interior quadriceps, but

they think they’re fat pigs. They may have the tiniest little

blemish behind one ear and think they’re monsters. 

 

She may not think she’s so hot, so before you start putting her

up on that generic pedestal, you may want to realize that’s not

her view of herself. She may think that she rates as a slob or a

horrible, ugly werewolf of a woman. 

 

You have to understand that beautiful women put men into altered

states of consciousness. What is an altered state of

consciousness? It’s a state of consciousness different from the

one you normally go around in.

 

Doesn’t it make sense to design the altered state that serves us

to get our outcome rather than the altered state that’s our

default altered state? One of the keys to this is to forget that

she has something you want. That’s going to take up no real

estate in your consciousness. 

 

A big part of success in this is paying attention to what the

chump ignores and ignoring what the chump pays attention to. The

fact that she has something you want is not going to enter your

consciousness. That’s something you’ll be putting aside.

Instead, you’ll just focus on how you can create the states in

her that you want to create.

 

You’ll focus on whatever information you can illicit or evoke

from her that will let you get what you want. Forget about the

fact that you think she’s hot. Put that aside and focus all your

intention and attention on what she has. What is she offering?

What can you evoke and illicit from her that will enable you to

get what you want? Those are the cognitive aspects.

 

Let me talk about the physiological and energetic aspects. Often

when guys are stuck, there’s a cognitive aspect, which is how

they’re thinking about it, what meaning they’re attaching and

what metaphors they’re using. 

 

Then there’s the physiological aspect. What’s going on?

Remember, I said that a lot of this is about amping yourself up.

You have 100,000 volts going down a 10,000-volt test line. How

do you de-amp yourself?

 

I’m going to show you something kind of gross, and that’s my

foot. You’re going to de-amp yourself using your feet. What the

hell do I mean by that? When your body is going through an

energetic overcharge, a good way to deal with it is to ground

things down to your feet. 

 

I can give you a lot of reasons for this. I could tell you there

are acupuncture pressure points on the bottom of the feet. I’m

not one to begin to try to explain whether there’s any science

behind this. Frankly, I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just

know empirically that if you act as if the model were true and

just do as I tell you, you’ll get the result that I promise and

predict.

 

What you’re going to do is de-amp yourself using your feet. It’s

very easy. You’re going to very slightly bend your knees and

exhale. It’s a slight bend in your knees, not a deep bend as if

you’re going to bend over. It’s just the very slightest bend in

the knees, maybe about 2 inches. 

 

As you bend your knees, you’re going to exhale. As you’re doing

this, I want you to feel the feeling of your feet pressing

against the ground. If you’re wearing shoes, so much the better.

You’ll feel the feeling of your feet pressing against your

shoes, pressing down against the ground. You’re also going to

feel the feeling of the ground pressing back up against your

shoes and feet. When you straighten up, you’re going to take a

big inhale. If you do that three times, you will de-amp

yourself.

 

I want you to try it. To review, you’re going to ground through

your feet, bending your knees slightly as you exhale. As you

straighten up, inhale. Throughout all of this, you want to feel

the feeling of your feet pressing down against your shoes,

pressing down against the ground and the ground pressing up

against your shoes, pressing up against your feet. This is key. 

 

We’re talking about dividing the real estate in your

consciousness. When you’re interacting with super-hot women, put

about 20% of your attention on the feeling of your feet against

your shoes and the feeling of your shoes against the ground. 

 

The bottom line is that if you can put 20% of your attention on

the feeling of whatever’s pressing against your feet, and

whatever your feet are pressing against, you will be so focused,

in tune and de-amped that it’ll be like you’re talking to a

huge, fat, disgusting hairy-lipped pig. Then you’ll do really

well. This is very powerful and important. These things are

really counterintuitive. 

 

Notice the one thing I’m not telling you to do. I’m not telling

you to pump yourself up with confidence and say, “Yes, that hot

bitch is mine!” That’s just rehearsal confidence, and that can

work. However, if you have this physiological overcharge, your

physiology will always wipe out, overwrite and overcome anything

you simply rehearse in your head. 

 

Rehearsing in your head is great provided there isn’t some

physiological overcharge going on. When there’s an overcharge

going on, as there is with beautiful women, rehearsing in your

head alone will not be enough. You have to learn to handle the

physiological aspect. 

 

I’m going to show you one more trick. Now we’re going to get

into the cognitive piece. If you really want to get good,

rehearse suck-cess through her eyes. Here’s what I mean. It’s

one thing to see yourself acting the way you want to act, and I

like that. 

 

Here’s a really wicked trick. Imagine that you’re looking at

yourself through her eyes. Imagine you’re standing inside her

body looking out through her eyes at you. 

 

Then, since we’re dealing with physiology, I want you to feel a

little of her rush of excitement. Just a little bit. Not

overwhelming. It’s not like you feel her coochie dripping down

her legs. Instead, just feel a little of her rush of excitement

as she feels a bit of a thrill seeing you. 

 

One of the mistakes guys make with this material is that they

try to completely overload a woman’s physiology, her neurology.

You want to light it up, not short it out. Hear her voice in her

mind saying, “Mmm, that guy is cute!” 

 

Then you’re going to imagine that you’re inside her mind.

Imagine her picturing herself walking over to talk to you.

You’re seeing what she’s visualizing. See her visualize herself

walking over to talk to you. You’re sort of psychically leading

her by getting inside her mind and initiating and engaging her

thought processes for her. 

 

The key to making this part work is very subtle intent. Do not

think of it as a “I am Dracula. Welcome to my castle” sort of

thing. In fact, when it comes to women, subtle is significant. 

 

Here’s the key. This is so vital. I can’t tell you how important

this clue is. The hotter the woman, the more subtle you can be.

The hotter the woman, the more power being subtle has. By

“subtle,” I mean it’s very low amperage, very low wattage. It’s

not like “pant, pant.” Just a little bit of that intent is all

you need. 

 

You’re not going to push your way through the doors to beautiful

women. You’re just going to nudge the door a little bit. If the

hinges are properly oiled, her door will swing right open in a

way that feels great for her. 

 

That’s it for Marcel B. I really like this presentation. I want

you to watch it several times. I packed a lot of powerful,

dense, useful information, knowledge and wisdom into this

module. 

 

Marcel, please let me know what you think about this. All of you

watching this module, write to me to let me know what you think.

Post your comments to me in an email. I really want to know what

you think.  Thanks a lot.