Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

A week or so ago, I posted this on my blog – a Sarge report from one of my longtime students who had met an HB8, had a few meetings in quick succession that led to an all-night makeout session… only to get a text from her the next morning in which she says they shouldn’t see each other anymore because she has a “borefriend.”

Said student read YOUR comments and thoughts and had a reaction along the lines of “DOH! What the f@@k was I thinking?!?!” and decided he’d give it another shot with her. Here’s what happened:

OK Ross, my gut told me to wait till the weekend to try contacting her, so that’s what I did. Meanwhile, on Thursday coincidentally and out of the blue she sent me a text that said “I’m so sorry, I actually don’t have a boyfriend. I wanted to see how you’d react if I did. I shouldn’t have done that.”

On Friday night I texted back “So which is it?” She followed up with basically a repeat of the above. So I called her Sunday (I deliberately dragged this out to build suspense) and she apologized profusely. I let her go on for a minute and then I said “Really, Debbie (not her real name of course), that totally threw me for a loop….I forgive you though.” We chatted for a bit. The plan is to get together this weekend coming up which is the next time our schedules match up. I’m heading over her place.

I’m not going to jump in head first. My other options still open (no “oneitis” here Ross). I’ll give her a mulligan on this one, but I’ll take this one step at a time. Give my thanks to everyone for their comments, especially the “constructive’ ones” I needed that!

You put into place the principle that a woman’s current reaction is rarely, if ever, her ‘final answer’. You remembered it a little late this time, but at least you remembered.  Next time you’ll remember sooner.

With all this suspense building, so long as you weren’t pining over her and agonizing on “what’s the right time to call” and “how long should I wait” and other dum-dum dating-game nonsense (sounds like that’s not an issue for you though).

Now let me aim the long, sharp needle at the balloon that is your ego.  SHE MIGHT NOT BE SINGLE.  Could be she has a boyfriend after all, but liked things with you so much she said what she needed to say to not lose you.  She might be getting ready to serve this guy his walking papers but wanting to interview other candidates first.  Or, maybe she just wants to f@@k around.

Before you come back all “woe is me” and “how did I let myself get suckered in” and all that rot, ask yourself – are ALL of these possibilities acceptable to YOU?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Wouldn’t it be an awesome thing to know that anytime a challenging situation comes up with a woman, you have the tools and wisdom in place to objectively process, and handle, the situation so everything “works out”? Click here to get these tools, starting now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In the spirit of Thanksgiving (USA), I challenge you to thank yourself by simply “letting go” of what has held you back until now.

Look: in life, we all make mistakes.

When it comes to learning Speed Seduction®, and indeed, the entire subject of success with women, you can count on TWO things:

1. You WILL make mistakes. Mistakes in judgment. Mistakes in execution. Mistakes in what you leave out. Mistakes in what you put in. Expect it.
2. No matter HOW prepared you think you are, women will test you and women WILL surprise you. Just when you THINK you have a girl “all wrapped up” she will pull something out of her hat (or a##). So, like I have said in my original book and have repeated over and over, when you start really liking a girl, just remember: you never know where you stand with a girl until you make that first, serious physical move. Until then, it’s all talk, talk, and sometimes just play-acting. Sad but true.

In any event, I have learned that, too often, guys hold onto their “failures” and dwell on them. It’s like obsessively chewing on the same wad of gum for year after year, as it collects more gunk, bacteria, mouth goo, etc. etc. etc. You wouldn’t do that, would you? But so many guys dwell on their “failures”. Or on how some girl screwed them over (instead of screwing them!) back when they were still “nice guys”.

Look, the problem with dwelling on all this is, what you dwell on, you are actually just rehearsing and retraining your mind to do it again the next time around!

That is the problem with “slumps”. The more you dwell on how awful you are doing, the more you carry those emotions into your efforts and it is like putting a 100 lb lead weight around each leg and then trying to jump out a 30 foot hole!

And again, what you mentally dwell on with strong emotion is what you communicate to your subconscious mind that you want it to do!

Despite all your positive programming, which I believe in and teach, your NEGATIVE programming thru dwelling on mistakes will probably more likely influence how you think, act and respond, BECAUSE IT IS MOST FAMILIAR AND IT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN WITH STRONG EMOTION.

Remember this: the unconscious is most impressed by anything that includes strong emotion, repetition, and strong belief. It does what is most familiar, not what you necessarily most consciously may want.

So avoiding this negative loop requires better attitudes toward learning. It requires the discipline and awareness to notice when you are beating on yourself and to stop it. And it requires acceptance of mistakes.

If you find yourself dwelling on the past or getting mad that you are not making fast enough progress, repeat this out loud.

Forgiving others, and letting them go is good training for forgiving myself. So even if they don’t “deserve” it I will do it for my own sake. I will either get what I want or learn what I need to. Mistakes are just MARKERS; marking out where I can step into new freedom, choice, power and growth.

I may wish I had been born more evolved or perfect, but THIS is my path and I embrace it. I may not always like it, I may slip and grumble, BUT THIS IS MY PATH. I will let my learnings pull me forward. I will never stop learning til I draw my last breath and in that last breath I will learn what THAT is like as I embrace the Source of All Learning … right now, today.

Allow this new attitude and new learning into your future seductions. And even imagine that idea going off into your past, adding its energy into your past as well. Come up to the present with this image inside you. Be thankful for your past; as it has helped you become the person you are today.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Peace and piece,

- RJ

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