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	<title>Ross Jeffries Uncensored &#187; not knowing what to say</title>
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	<description>Dating tips, success with women, speed seduction, mastery of seduction</description>
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		<title>When Fear Stops You Dead In Your Tracks In Front Of A Woman</title>
		<link>http://www.seduction.com/blog/is-it-really-fear/</link>
		<comments>http://www.seduction.com/blog/is-it-really-fear/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 26 Dec 2009 20:12:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ross Jeffries</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[answers to students]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[approach anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[approaching women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidence with women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conversation starters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[irresistible arousal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Los Angeles Seminar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meet women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ross Jeffries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Speed Seduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Speed Seduction® 3.0 Seminar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[afraid to make a move]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear of making a move]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear of women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[not knowing what to say]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overwhelm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[take a chance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[uncertainly]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.seduction.com/blog/?p=1228</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans, Have you experienced the feeling of knowing exactly what to do or say when you envision yourself powerfully commanding and mastering any life situation in your mind&#8230; but when you&#8217;re actually in the situation, &#8230; <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/is-it-really-fear/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
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<p><strong>Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,</strong></p>
<p>Have you experienced the feeling of knowing exactly what to do or say when you envision yourself <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>powerfully commanding and mastering</strong></span> any life situation in your mind&#8230; but when you&#8217;re actually in the situation, you <span style="text-decoration: underline;">freeze up</span>, &#8220;<span style="text-decoration: underline;">forget your lines</span>,&#8221; and <span style="text-decoration: underline;">take no action</span> at all because you suddenly have no idea what to do?</p>
<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1229" title="fotolia_1599527_small" src="http://www.seduction.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/fotolia_1599527_small.jpg" alt="fotolia_1599527_small" width="180" height="270" />Not too long ago, I got a note from a student who can easily envision what happens when he <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/walkup/" target="_blank"><strong>walks up to women</strong></a> and then <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/arousal" target="_blank">gets them all hot and bothered</a> for him.</p>
<p>But when he is out in public <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>surrounded by approachable hotties</strong></span> who have not yet had the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>chance to say YES</strong></span> to who he is and what he gives to the world, he feels afraid and can&#8217;t get himself moving and talking to women in the real world.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s my answer:</p>
<p>I think the problem here is you are <strong>imagining a MOUNTAIN</strong> of work and meaning <strong>rolled into one small action</strong> (the Sarge).</p>
<p>In other words, I think every time you see a woman you want, you approach it on the basis of your <strong>ENTIRE GIRL-GETTING GAME</strong> being on the line. Thus, simply <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/walkup/" target="_blank"><strong>going up and talking to her</strong></a> becomes (for you) one <em>huge, massive, impossible and measureless labor.</em></p>
<p><strong>What if you just viewed her as ONE girl? ONE chance to learn one small piece of a skill?</strong></p>
<p>I think what you are experiencing is NOT fear. It&#8217;s <span style="text-decoration: underline;">OVERWHELM</span>.</p>
<p>When you were a baby and learning to walk, you didn&#8217;t stack all that meaning on ONE step, did you? You <strong>took it one step at a time.</strong></p>
<p>Also, you are hanging to certainty. Rather than accept that you simply don&#8217;t know what her response will be, you cling to the certainty that <span style="text-decoration: underline;">she WILL reject you</span>!</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">It&#8217;s funny:</span> humans would rather project the CERTAINTY of failure and pain, rather than <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>embrace</strong></span> the uncertainty of NOT knowing!</p>
<p>Rather than aiming at confidence, try aiming at neutrality. Neutrality doesn&#8217;t mean projecting that you KNOW you can do it and you KNOW <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>she will drop to her knees and blow you</strong></span>.</p>
<p>Neutrality means sticking to facts:</p>
<ol>
<li> I don&#8217;t know what is going to happen.</li>
<li>I don&#8217;t like that I don&#8217;t know.</li>
<li>Let&#8217;s go find out and see; maybe I will have fun and I CERTAINLY will learn SOMETHING.</li>
</ol>
<p>Even if you learn that it was harder than you thought, that STILL is a <strong>learning that you can use</strong> to change. Or you might learn that your feet feel really good when you walk up. Or you might learn that ONE part of your body actually can relax and feel good while all the rest feels shaky!</p>
<p><strong>You can ALWAYS, ALWAYS learn something.</strong></p>
<p>Fact is, you don&#8217;t know <strong>WHAT you will learn</strong>.</p>
<p>But you CAN be certain about one thing: If you don&#8217;t get moving, you <span style="text-decoration: underline;">certainly WILL remain frustrated and alone</span>! I GUARANTEE THAT!</p>
<p>So maybe you ought to trade that GUARANTEE for some uncertainty and see what you can learn. ONE STEP AT A TIME. Because you only learn ONE STEP AT A TIME ANYWAY! So take a step and learn whatever.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Remember:</span> one step <strong>forward in your Sarge</strong> is one step <strong>forward toward getting laid</strong>. Stand still and you won&#8217;t get closer to getting laid; take a step and who knows &#8211; that might put you in front of the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>scandalously sexy babe</strong></span> who has been wondering when you would finally get around to making your move.<br />
<em><strong><br />
If you ask me, that sure beats a poke in the eye!</strong></em></p>
<p>Peace and piece,</p>
<p>RJ</p>
<p><strong>P.S. </strong>Remember, when you place your order <strong>between now and 12:00 Midnight Pacific on Sunday, January 2, 2010</strong> and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>enter the coupon code HOLIDAY09 on the order form</strong></span> when you complete your order, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>I will take 15% off</strong></span> your order and give you <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/holiday09-announcement/">three FREE BONUSES</a>.</p>
<p>Use this opportunity as the &#8220;kick in the a##&#8221; that gets you from uncertainty to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>taking action</strong></span> &#8211; investing in whatever Speed Seduction® product best fits your needs to help you take that <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>next step forward toward success with women</strong></span>.</p>
<p>But if you need a specific recommendation today&#8230;</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/30" target="_blank"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1195" title="SpeedSeductionDeluxe200" src="http://www.seduction.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/SpeedSeductionDeluxe200.jpg" alt="SpeedSeductionDeluxe200" width="200" height="200" /></a>P.P.S. </strong>Since enjoying damn near <strong>ridiculous levels</strong> of <strong>success, satisfaction and pleasure</strong> with the most amazing women around is something you are highly interested in, then investing in my <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/30" target="_blank"><strong>Speed Seduction® 3.0 System</strong></a> could be one of the best things you’ve ever done.</p>
<p>With what I teach you throughout the 7 DVDs and 11 CDS, you’ll remain <strong>calmly in control of every interaction and situation with women, even when you&#8217;re not 100% sure of the exact right answer to THAT situation.</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/30" target="_blank"><strong>Claim yours today!</strong></a></p>
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		<title>&#8220;She Caught My Eye &#8230; Then The Cat Got My Tongue!&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.seduction.com/blog/being-tongue-tied-around-a-woman/</link>
		<comments>http://www.seduction.com/blog/being-tongue-tied-around-a-woman/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:00:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ross Jeffries</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[approach anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being nervous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conversation starters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conversation with women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ross Jeffries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Speed Seduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[approaching women at work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[not knowing what to say]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tongue-tied]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.seduction.com/blog/?p=1041</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Speed Seduction® Student, The other day on my blog, I shared with you one of the greatest fears faced by many of my students, a fear far worse than the goriest Halloween costume. That is, the fear of hitting &#8230; <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/being-tongue-tied-around-a-woman/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
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<p><strong>Dear Speed Seduction® Student,</strong></p>
<p>The other day on <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/scary-sarging-slump/" target="_blank">my blog</a>, I shared with you one of the greatest fears faced by many of my students, a fear far <span style="text-decoration: underline;">worse than the goriest Halloween costume</span>. That is, the fear of hitting a slump, or the worry that can set in when after <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/walkup/" target="_blank"><strong>approaching several women</strong></a>, he isn&#8217;t getting the results he&#8217;s used to and isn&#8217;t sure why.</p>
<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1043" title="fotolia_1976002_small" src="http://www.seduction.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/fotolia_1976002_small.jpg" alt="fotolia_1976002_small" width="180" height="270" />I enjoy when students write back to me directly and share their challenges as well as their success stories. When I can, I answer them through my &#8220;Steaming-Hot Seduction Secrets&#8221; newsletter. Here&#8217;s one I got Sunday that immediately <strong>put me into &#8220;seduction teacher&#8221; mode:</strong></p>
<p>========================================</p>
<p>Something extraordinary happened to me on Halloween inside a supermarket. I was feeling good, looking good, and I had a swagger of confidence shining through my skin.</p>
<p>I walked inside the supermarket, wanting to ask a question about an item. So I walked up to a beautiful woman who was working as a bagger. Immediately, we had deep eye contact that lasted for what seemed like hours. It was so deep, so hypnotizing, that her body forgot about her job and instantly moved into close proximity to mine. I swear, the store disappeared and I could have made out with her on the spot. But, I have to admit, I didn&#8217;t know what to say after that because that never happened to me before. So I broke off the magic, and asked her about the item.</p>
<p>Ross, I left the store in awe. I studied what had happened in there. I&#8217;ve gotten many looks before, but that was different. It made me realize that there is an &#8216;involuntary action moment&#8217; in attraction. At an instant, with eye contact with anyone, attraction is at its highest moment, where we are most vulnerable, regardless of whom you are. But it fades quickly if not acted upon swiftly. My question to you is what should I do, or say, after that happens? Should I kiss her, give her a wink, ask her for a number? Please help!</p>
<p>========================================</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">First, foremost, uppermost, and importantmost:</span> what happened was a <strong>huge breakthrough</strong>. You were caught a little by surprise because, up until now, causing <strong>immediate, irresistible arousal</strong> in a woman is <span style="text-decoration: underline;">an event</span>, something that &#8220;happens&#8221; to you. You are now making the transition toward having this be <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>who you are</strong></span> and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>what you do</strong></span>.</p>
<p>When you approached her, using verbal cues, vibes, and body language, you <strong>captured her attention</strong> and <strong>focused</strong> her <strong>sensual and erotic feelings and vibes <span style="text-decoration: underline;">entirely on you</span></strong>. For her, indeed, the store &#8220;disappeared&#8221; and you were all that she could see.</p>
<p>You&#8217;re following the Speed Seduction® skill of <strong>learning from your Sarges</strong> for what you can use to <strong>succeed with the next ten women</strong>. Though things with the bagger chick went nowhere THIS time, you have taken giant steps forward toward <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>&#8220;bagging&#8221; many steaming hot women to come</strong></span>.</p>
<p>When approaching a woman at work, here&#8217;s an opener you can use when you don&#8217;t know what to say, but <strong>you&#8217;re &#8220;feelin&#8217; it&#8221; </strong>and you know <strong>she&#8217;s &#8220;feelin&#8217; it&#8221; too</strong>. This is nothing new, but it WORKS:</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em>&#8220;I don&#8217;t mean to interrupt you while you are working, but I just wanted you to know that I think you&#8217;re one of the most attractive women I&#8217;ve ever seen, and I&#8217;m really glad I worked up the courage to introduce myself to you.&#8221;</em></p>
<p>Then, once this <strong>opens her up</strong> to receiving what you have to offer her, use my techniques to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>close the deal</strong></span>.</p>
<p>Peace and piece,</p>
<p>RJ</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/30/" target="_blank"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1042" title="SpeedSeductionDeluxe200" src="http://www.seduction.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/SpeedSeductionDeluxe200.jpg" alt="SpeedSeductionDeluxe200" width="200" height="200" /></a>P.S. </strong>With what I teach you throughout the 7 DVDs and 11 CDS of my <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/30/" target="_blank"><strong>Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course</strong></a>, you’ll remain <strong>calmly in control as the <span style="text-decoration: underline;">effortless seduction architect</span> of every interaction and situation</strong> &#8211; never caught by surprise again.</p>
<p>Put 20 years of my girl-getting teachings to work for you as you transform into a Speed Seduction® master for whom <strong>succeeding with women is <span style="text-decoration: underline;">who you are</span> and <span style="text-decoration: underline;">what you do</span></strong>. <a href="http://www.seduction.com/blog/30/" target="_blank">Get yours today!</a></p>
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