Dear Seeker of Success,
Again and again, I’ve said: do not “date” a woman until AFTER she’s taken a ride on the baloney pony.
But what happens when she’s someone you’re potentially interested in romantically – someone you see as more than a one-night stand – and she says she wants to be “exclusive” before you guys have sex.
First, foremost, and uppermost: that’s an odd request.
What if, after all that waiting, it turns out the sex isn’t even all that good?
That’s like saying you’ll only pay for a car if you enjoy driving it for a year. (Try that one out on the car salesperson and see what happens.)
My response would be something like,
“I understand exclusivity, but how can we make that pledge to each other if we don’t even know how good the sex is? Sex is important to me. What if we had sex and you don’t like it? Would you still want to be exclusive with me?
“I understand what you’re saying. You’re saying you want to feel emotionally safe with the person you’re having sex with. I agree with you. You say you want to be exclusive with me. How do you know the sex will be good? We have to see how it goes.”
It’s kind of a weird double bind.
I think she’s really saying, “I don’t have time to waste. I want to find a life partner. Are you looking for a serious partner?”
Very Few People, Including Women,
Can Give Voice To Their
Real Emotional Need.
Take it a little deeper and say, “What is this really about? You can tell me. Are you asking if I’m open to being exclusive with someone?”
Give her the honest answer. If the answer is no, tell her.
Remember: a woman’s first response isn’t her only response. If you get her sufficiently turned on, she may f@@k anyway.
Talking about it may not be the best thing to do, at least not at this juncture.
Back up and try again.
P.S. Just imagine: your words going straight to the seat of her deepest fantasies, strongest desires, and wildest passions, so she experiences and links these feelings to you and only you, compelling her to want to be with you in the most intimate ways within as little as 30 minutes!
Regardless of your relationship status. Click here to learn more.