Leverage That Gets You Out Of The “Cold Shower Loop”

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In my 25+ years of teaching smart men like you how to get the results you want with the women you desire, I’ve found when people are stuck, their natural tendency is to push harder within the system they are using. That seldom works.

When I want to help people change, I look for leverage, and it is almost never obvious to the person seeking help.

Think of it as a “cold shower loop” keeping them on ice:

Feels lousy about failures with women————>is entangled up with—————>natural healthy desire for love, sex, fun, companionship, touch————->leads to running bad feelings and failure memories in mind———–leads to bring entangled, painful emotion, limiting sense of possibility along with legit desires, into interactions with women———>leads to freezing or little or limited actions/interactions with unsatisfying results————–>Feels lousy about failures with women

And on and on the arrows go…

So my first thought is, if you’re caught in this loop, stop thinking of it as an inferiority “complex”.

Instead, look at the PROCESS you continue to run. If I took that process and dropped it into the head, body and energetic field of anyone, they’d be fucked up badly within a few months, even if they previously would be doing swimmingly.

BTW, even the loop I laid (ha ha) out isn’t complete. Most likely there are physiological things going on; when you don’t feel good about your life or significant portions of it, chances are you don’t take proper care of your diet, exercise, sleep etc and then your body feels even worse. A body with poor or limited energy etc is likely to lead to a mind that searches for reasons why you feel bad, when it fact, you may feel bad because your body is tired, undernourished, etc!

So into that loop I would probably put

——–> because one feels bad about this area of life, one doesn’t take proper care of physical health———> which predisposes mind to put negative interpretations on events to match the bad feelings in body

So, stop looking at yourself as having a “complex” and instead look at the process.

This is my first step, because it shows you how to start finding leverage to feel better physically and emotionally OUTSIDE of your interactions with women.

I’m not saying to shift your focus permanently off getting good skills with women. I’m saying, temporarily, put a lot more focus in other areas that might be tripping you up and holding you back.

This gets you leverage over the loop, however, there is also a gap: the effects may not show up for a few weeks or months.

But given that, all the more reason to get on it and decide that making a change is something you will do, starting right now.

The women are waiting; so what in Francesca’s flannel nighties are you waiting FOR?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S.  In our “Holiday Healing For Body, Mind, and Soul” program, we will conduct meditations on the healing power of breath, grounding, sensing sound, letting thoughts flow and letting thoughts go… and much, much more!

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One Response to Leverage That Gets You Out Of The “Cold Shower Loop”

  1. Grey says:

    G’day Ross,

    I was watching a couple of youtube videos last night where Richard Bandler and John Grinder were discussing aspects of NLP.

    One of the comments that struck me was that NLP gives you a set of tools. One tool is personal power (or nail your inner game- as you say?) Richard indicated:

    Real personal power is knowing what you do well and knowing what you don’t do well so that you know what you need to learn next.”

    I am in a dispute with the government and they have resources which I can only dream about—and so I was stuck in the loop as you have indicated about. And a legal person said to me you need a different set of skills…. this is how I came across you.

    Because, you indicated it’s not about the outcome it all about the process and that took the emotions out of the equation, for me, and since I realised that— that I am dealing with a process— I am having much more success and this was the leverage that got me out of the loop.

    So what am I trying to say —- simply this; Ross, I study your material which tells me how to relate to women , it also tells me how to relate to people, you see what you teach is a practical hands-on communications and persuasion process that can be adapted and used in all aspect of your life to give you freedom of choice.

    Because of this I now have personal power in dealing with women, in my dealings with the government and in all other aspects of my life…. I have a lot to learn and I ask myself: (Richard Bandler) “If you are doing something that is not working then you need to switch it off, find someone who can do it and knows how to achieve it so that you can change the output of what you are doing so that you can manifest greater things in your life.”—- for me you are that someone …..who can do it and knows how to achieve it.

    So Ross, what are you going to discuss next because, I just know, like many of your other followers, that I will be able to use whatever you discuss in one or all aspects of my life- what I have learned is that what you teach is a way to live your life to the fullest—

    See Ya
    Grey

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