When Your Next “Date” Calls You…Too Soon

Dear Seeker of Success,

By “too soon” I mean, the day (or the hour) before the time and place where you two were supposed to get together.

A student told me this happens to him “all the time” and cited one instance in particular:

She said, “You know what? I have something to tell you.” I said, “What? Are you a lesbian?” She said, “No.” I said, “Do you have a boyfriend?” she said, “No.” I said, “What is the situation here?” She said, “My father has been cheating on my mother for the past four years with this girl from Brazil. I just don’t feel like I’m ready.”

I knew that was an excuse. I said, “Okay. I understand. Whenever you’re ready, just call me.”

As I said, it happens to me all of the time.

RJ here.  There are three problems here, let’s go through them one by one. 

First: you’re letting her set the lead. You need to be firmer. What about “whenever you’re ready” gives her any incentive to think of you again, much less call you?

Second: you’re actually being dishonest with her. Your honest answer is not, “Okay, whenever you’re ready.” Wasn’t your real, honest thought something like, “What in the hell does that have to do with you and me?”  By not sharing your honesty with her, you’re treating her like a child.

One of the attraction vibes I teach is “Speaking my truth is more important to me than getting into your pants.”

You need to learn to come from that vibe and say, “What in the world does that have to do with us?  That has nothing to do with us, so tell me what’s really going on.”

Third: never take a woman’s first response to you as written in stone.  It’s almost always a reflection of what she is thinking, feeling or believing in THAT moment – and almost always subject to change.

This Is Where The Speed Seducers Stand Out
From The Average Frustrated Chumps

Your typical AFC will go home and start processing in his mind, figuring out exactly how long he should wait before “checking in” on that whole thing about Daddy banging the Brazilian to see if she’s “ready” now.

He knows full well the only way he’ll ever hear her voice again is IF she personalized her voicemail greeting. But he’ll still let it consume his energy, AND let it affect future interactions with women.

That’s a shame, for he knows NOT that she might be saying “He had his chance, why didn’t he take it?  I liked him, why didn’t he like me back?”

Had he been honest with her, treated her like the intelligent adult woman she is, and shown her a new choice to make with him, there may have been a different story.

Looks like we’ll never know.

Peace,

RJ

P.S. What I DO know is this: a life-changing understanding about women that will skyrocket your success with them, forever, awaits you now.