Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
In one of the discussion forms where I check in from time to time, a participant told me that part of his fear of approaching women comes from worrying what she might think or say.
It’s more than just fear of rejection; he fears the woman will think he’s a creep and thus tell all her super hot friends. Intellectually, he knows this is unfounded because in every other area of life he can handle, no matter what people think of him.
Here is my response:
How do you know it won’t work the OTHER way: that you’ll give her the most amazingly incredible sexual satisfaction and she’ll tell ALL of her hot friends that you are a DEMON with your tongue, your fingers, your prick, your toes, your elbows, that you have ten fingers like a tongue and a tongue like ten fingers, etc. etc.?
Imagine your mind to be like a fertile field of soil. For whatever reason, you plow the soil over and over again in ONE groove, so that, over the years, that ONE groove grows deeper and deeper.
Once in a while, at random, you plow a different groove, but not very often, so that groove either gets covered over again by random drifts of dirt, by the winds, rain, etc. But still, that different groove is there a little bit.
Then, one day, you decide the soil is dry, so you want to irrigate it. You divert some water from a nearby stream and send it all flooding into the field, and lo and behold, MOST OF THE WATER GOES RIGHT INTO THE DEEPEST GROOVE.
Now, these grooves or tracks or habits of the mind are fixed patterns of perceiving/feeling/responding to our world.
Some are minor, like scratching your ass with your left hand when you are nervous. These are pretty easily spotted.
Some are more deeper into the “operating system” of the mind; for example, always assuming the WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME to the exclusion of even considering a good outcome.
These deeper grooves tend to be invisible. People don’t even see the stuckness and instead try to work within in it; if they see things for the worst, they often don’t even recognize that and instead just try to cope with the projected horrible outcome.
Now, it gets MORE interesting.
There is raw energy bound up here. By this I mean the grooves are not just patterns of thought, but they have energy associated to and with them. In your case, there is some energetic quality of fear, anxiety. I would guess that it has qualities of making you feel both contracted inward, like a tortoise pulling its head inside its shell and also feelings of being spread thin like you are going to disappear. I’m guessing, but it is an educated guess from helping thousands of guys.
I would guess it also has an overall “antsy” “jumpy” “agitated” “can’t sit still” flavor to it as well.
And finally, probably a sense of “urgency”. Like you have to get this handled, now.
With all of these various energetic flavors, it’s no wonder you are feeling conflicted, tired, like your system is grinding its gears. Sort of like wanting to step forward with one foot while you step back with the other, or putting the car in reverse and drive at the same time.
In short, I think the answer to all of this is NOT more “cognition” or activity in think space. It’s not to be found in your self-talk or what you visualize, not in YOUR case.
In your case, what will change all of this is the energy you are riding on and bringing in. It is THE core of the issue, the rest is just window dressing around it.
But you are trying to address it using the wrong system.
So the question becomes, what can you do to start “unpacking” this great big ball of less than useful energy-to pull out the individual strands and then convert them to USEFUL energy, a very attractive USEFUL vibe that will have these women wanting you NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY OR DO?
Peace and piece,