Dear Speed Seduction(R) Students,
Last night, at about 7:45 PM, my father left this life.
I’m sure everyone reading this has different beliefs about what happens at the end of physical life. I’ll not have that discussion here; when you lose someone like this, in the face of this kind of loss, everyone reaches for their own form of comfort that is graspable for them.
I can tell you, from a personal perspective, how I feel this morning, writing this: tired from not sleeping well, emotionally a bit drained, but also relieved.
Let me explain a bit about the relief; for the past 5 or 6 years, my family and I have gone through countless experiences of both of our parents(my Mom passed on April 29, 2007) being hospitalized, nearly every time with what seemed to be life-threatening conditions.
I’ve been in emergency rooms and intensive care bed-sides so many times, I can actually read a heart monitor pretty accurately.
In fact what many of you probably don’t know, is in virtually every circumstance when I’ve had to travel outside of Los Angeles to teach a seminar in the past 5 years, one or both of my parents was in the hospital and I never knew if my return would see the gone or alive.
So, selfish as it might seem, I am actually(and sighing as a I write this) relieved that my Dad is finally gone. Relieved that this long period of constant fear and worry is finally over.
Now, one thing I’ve learned is that human emotion is complex. Often, many emotions are experienced at one time as an undifferentiated clump of “something” that tightens us up and blocks our experience. And the use of having a meditation practice is to be able to sort through, separate out, and experience each one with maximum awareness and minimum grasping.
So I will go through the meditation of mourning my Dad. And find the humor and the peace in it as well as the sorrow and the pain. Because I really do try to do my best to practice what I preach. It makes me a better teacher, and my father would have approved of that.
Peace and piece,
RJ
My sympathy to you and your family.
I am truly sorry for your loss
You have my deepest sympathies. It is a difficult thing to lose a parent. No one ever truly knows what someone else goes through, but my mother died three years ago after battling pancreatic cancer, so I have a pretty good idea what you’re feeling right now.
Make sure you take some time to decompress by yourself after all the ceremonial grieving is over.
Hey Ross,
Best wishes and thoughts are with you mate from way down here Down under. And thanks for involving us and bothering to think about your students in such a hard time. Not sure I could be so selfless and I’d probably tell my students to go jump in the days after my Dad or Mujm passing.
Thanks mate, do what you gotta do mate,
Glenn
Ross,
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I’m been an avidly following your material for a while now but I was still gob smacked to read you sharing this particular life changing experience with us.
It sounds like you have a good handle on it by practicing what you preach.
With Respect,
Darren
Germany
I’m sorry for your father. I’m your fan and eventually lost my father this year too.
Hey Ross,
I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I know what it’s like to loose a loved one. My grandpa died about a year and a half ago, and I remember how that felt.
It’s not selfish to be relieved that he’s gone. He’s not suffering anymore, so you don’t have to worry about that. He’s in a better place now.
My thoughts are with you,
Brent
Ross,
My condolences on your loss. Take care of yourself.
I remember as I was 8 my sister told me how my mother told her our Grandpa was in Hospital… he experienced a severe accident.
I knew in advance he would die… being 8 years old… I sat down on
my moms bed and cried. Ross Jeffries, I carry and feel the same as you…
if not, even more since it has been 11years since then. Because he has everything I want (I mean his personality and characteristics where out of this world… never seen a man like that)
From my point of view, bless your mom and father, they may be more in peace than ever rather than trapped in a physical shell…. may they rest in harmony… just like I feel my Grandpa is right now.
It’s just a cycle, our children may think like this too : )
And thank you Ross… for everything you are and have done.
Hi Ross,
I know about your pain. The death of a loved one (humain or animal) triggers a lot of different heavy emotions/states of mind (my dad, my soul-mate and my dream of a music carrier all pass away last year). Here is an interesting list in French of the usual reactions in 4 categories (affective, thought, physique and behavioral) at
http://deuilsansdetour.ca/fr/reactions-habituelles.html
My grief made me realized even more that the fundamental principle in every aspect of life, including mourning is:
“An emotion that hurts indicates that I am NOT in the right state of mind.”
It is OK to feel bad because one should NOT be in denail, but I should not stay in this sort of state for ever, right? The only way to get immediately out of it, which is NOT to ignore the reality and/or falsely ‘stay positive’, the true way to instantly get better is:
1. “To FORGIVE Once For All, Period.” That gives to the deceased a let-pass to Heaven (instead of being bugged by the survivers which increases their suffering).
2. “To Be Constantly GRATEFUL That GOD ALREADY Took Care Of The Deceased And Those Who Are Left Behind.”
3. Then To Act According To My Intuition While Observing How GOD Aligns The Events.
It’s always amazing (then normal) and so much fun to perceive how this mindset wakes up the good in people!
By the way, I’ve asked to a self-realized person if a deceased benefits from our actual prayers even if that soul has taken a new body. He did agree with my thinking.
Peace, health and love,
Daniel