Charisma And Vulnerability: Things You Can’t Just Rehearse

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

When we consider the concept of “charisma”, there are two elements I often point out – particularly when they find themselves rehearsing their lines or what they’re going to say when they approach a woman.

These are: a) stepping into the unknown and b) holding space for the other person to have whatever initial response they are going to have.

A student asked me whether that means “surrendering” to the unknown (a), and making yourself vulnerable of being open to receive (b).

He was close, but here is the true meaning. If you’re feeling the need to “rehearse” or play it in your mind 100 times before just walking up to her, consider this…

1) Stepping into the unknown and being truly ok without having to know ahead of time what is going to happen. You accept that you don’t know, and maybe at first that you don’t like that you don’t know, but you don’t dramatize it or spin around it.

You just don’t know. And you decide to move forward anyway.

2)  By hold space I mean:

• It’s ok for them to have their FIRST response. You don’t take their FIRST response as being their final response.
• You don’t REQUIRE their permission OR their support for your new moves and your courageous action.

A lot of guys think that a woman OWES it to them to be polite open because the guy is willing to take the “risk” to go up and meet them/talk to them first.

Well, that attitude is bullshit. The woman hasn’t signed a contract saying that she is REQUIRED to support you in your efforts to improve your sex/love/social life.

You’re stepping forward because it is what YOU , as an adult, have chosen to do and because you are determined(DETERMINED) to bust through your limitations.

Now, can you be determined AND relaxed AND even have a sense of humor about it?

You can if you know how to untangle yourself.

Let me clarify one more thing: just because you don’t REQUIRE certainty or REQUIRE the other person to have a “good response” and be supportive doesn’t mean you don’t take those things as being good or something of value.

It’s just not what determines your stepping forward.

Some guys are waiting to be super-powerful and radiating charm BEFORE they make a move.

Well, yes, you CAN rehearse in charm etc, for sure.

But for some guys, it’s a mistake because they are already too much in their heads and, or THEM, the rehearsing just gets in the way of taking action.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. What would life be like with no further need for assurance or guarantee of success of any kind before you took bold (and fun) seduction steps, as you walked like a giant where other people fear to step? It’s time to get off your excuse-making, “I understand but don’t do it” ass, and get moving right now in the real world with the success you’ve always wanted.  Click here to Nail Your Inner Game…