Dear Speed Seduction® Students,
The other day, someone on my member’s only Yahoo group posted something quite interesting.
He had met a woman on-line and they had gone out on a “date”(Something I usually warn against: remember with Speed Seduction®, dating is for women you are already sleeping with! So much for “dating tips” and “dating advice”!)
Anyway, shortly into their evening, she looked at him and said, “I think we are only good for friends. I don’t think there is any chemistry.”
He just ignored that comment, and went right on with his sarging her.
Not long after that, she brought up the “friends” thing again.
Rather than be upset by it, he was following one of my key rules: “I seldom take a woman’s first response to me as written in stone. It’s almost always a response to what she is thinking, feeling or believing in THAT moment, and almost always subject to change”.
So he said to her, “You are right. There’s obviously no chemistry here. So let’s just be friends. Better yet, let’s be each other’s “wingman” and go see what else is out there!”
So off they go to a bar and start looking over the crowd, imagining introducing each other to different people.
Now, wouldn’t you know it, but by changing the context, and playing a game that excited her imagination, guess what happened?
She looks at him with lust in her eye, pulls him into her and LOCKS A BIG ONE ON HIM!
What is the lesson here?
Rather than fighting a woman’s first response, let her have it. In fact, agree with it, and use it to power both of you into a better direction by changing the setting, the context, and playfully engaging her imagination.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Did you know that you can get me as your master seduction teacher, coach and guide for just $1? Go right here right now to find out more: www.rjcoaching.com
There’s a certain mentality running strong. “If she says let’s just be friends, you’re screwed.” Yeah, you are, if you give up entirely. Which is what I think most are doing if a woman says that to them. So this is a very helpful article.
true! but if she doesnt return calls or text and then contacts you…how would RJ react?
and she says “friends first” ….
Actually that’s my attitude too. One day I decided, “Well, on the rare chance I can’t get her to feel attracted to me in all the ways I’d really like or if she really loves her boyfriend too much, then we’ll just be good friends and she’ll introduce me to all her other buddies.”
Works great for me and I learned something recently in NLP called the Law of Requisite Variety. i.e. “In any system, the element with the most behavioral flexibility is going to control the system.”
My only real confusion still with females is for most it seems looks aren’t so important for them in a guy — where for me that’s the number 1 criteria that determines if I am sexually attracted to them. No amount of reframing or hypnosis will ever change the fact that she’s gotta be fit, have a symmetrical and harmonious face and all that. And Ross, I do think you look pretty good for a guy (just don’t like when you had the fro — no offense, just my personal liking 😉 so when you say that you’re an ugly old geek — that doesn’t register so much with me.
– Mat
P.S. Where’s the video you said there was in the e-mail?
this is great advice Ross as always I will use this next time i get the LBJ speech however the E mail I got said something about a video all the same it is fantastic you are giving so much for free I always know any Ross jeffries E mail I get will be useful information.
quote Ross Jefries e mail
“I just posted another fantastic free video on my blog.
This one is about going from “Let’s be friends” to make-out
session.
Go here now and watch it, and let me know what you think. “
It’s like martial arts…. like judo
I used the agreement principle just yesterday with my ex-stripper “friend”. She wanted a massage, but said “not a sexual one”. I just said “of course”. You can imagine what happened after that. Did I mention she is more than 19 years younger that I?
No video with this one. My assistant, Lisa, was not paying attention when she cued up the announcement.
RJ
Her: “I just want to be friends”
Me: “When you think about it, friends could be a large and ever-widening category”
There are several directions one could direct this dialog including, “we need to see if we’re snack-compatible,” and negation with sensory-rich descriptions of what friends can’t do (or at least can’t do in public).
RJ often says something like don’t take the first thing a women says as absolute. I consider her first statement as a starting-point, that some joint-creativity can mold into something we’d both enjoy.
“It’s just that I don’t notice how an artist’s hands can enjoy being creative while they’re not really wondering about the end result. Ever notice how a piece of soft clay could be molded into form for no other motive than its own reason.”
I gotta remember that one
From “Let’s Be Friends” To Mad Make Out!…
One common situation men find themselves in is desiring a woman who wants to be “just friends”. So, you buy into what she says and accept friendship when you want more … OR that’s what you USED to do! Speed Seduction(R) offers this bit of wisdom…
People get way too hung up on the ‘friend’ word. Girls have learned (partly cos of all the fuss about it on websites) that guys are freaked by the word, and do they love to freak us out. In the hands of a typical female the word can mean a hundred different thing in a hundred different ways, so do not let it get to you: often she is just calibrating you or testing you and it is by no means the end of the world if she uses the word- many a female has ended up on her back with a guy that at some time or another she described as a ‘friend’!
Dear Ross, dear successful SS brothers,
I need advice
I’m new to SS and I meet difficulties when using the vague language, especially online, on girls, who are not highly imaginative. I registered in a flirting site and aimed at an 18-year-old girl with a playful vibe. (since we’re not online at the same time I couldn’t use the “chat” option). I feel I reached really close to my goal and then she just stopped responding. Here’s our letter hystory:
Me:
It’s just that I admire girls with a sence of class and playful vibe, so i wanted to say “hi”. I’d really like to meet the person wrapped in the pretty
P.S oh, and by the way, your shoulders are laterally asymetrical;)
Her:
My shoulders are what? 🙂 …No offences please 🙂 I like my shoulders
Me:
Oh, so you like them… you just left me speechless 😛
So what do you like to … no, no, forget that…
You know what’s really interesting about liking? It’s that… Actually how do you decide you like someone (or something)? and when you see something that you really like, do you act on it right away, or do you let that feeling build… and build… and build
(Wow, that musta been the weirdest question I’ve said to a girl I might find really interesting)
P.S. I hope that doesn’t sound annoying. You talk to people and most of them don’t even care what you say, but to me it’s really interesting
Her:
And to me is really interesting why do you have to write me a 3-page essay just to ask something. Can’t you make a more specific question?
Me:
Have I written 3 pages already? Cool… 2 or 3 more letters like that and I can publish a romance novel. I even came up with a title. What do you think of:
“The encounter at (flirtsite name)… or how Drago struggles chatting”
I guess you’re right, I could be more specific.
Question for you:
If you could imagine your ideal lover, what kind of feelings, ideas and emotions would you like to experience with him?
Her:
Haha.. well, if he’s just my lover, then I’d say lust, mainly. But since we liked each other for lovers, we have to experience everything together
Me:
So at the idea of the perfect lover, its lust that you love to feel yourself filling up with with me I’d say things are almost the same.
you say – since we liked each other for lovers, we have to experience everything together. What do you imagine when you say “everything”? What ideas rise up in your mind?
Her:
Well, what do you think? I’m talking about the bed… not about walking in the park hand in hand. after all we’re lovers, not mates…. And I can’t understand why is all that curiosity. If you wanna ask me something – please – be direct.
Me:
That sounded really convincing.
I’m asking you directly – If you could imagine your wildest, muost lustful experience in bed, where you’re so hot, so turned on, you knew you have to have me right here… right now, would you act on that fantasy? And what steps do we need to take to make sure that fantasy you have comes true?
P.S. and how do you imagine your wildest, most lustful experience in bed?
—-
She didn’t respond to that one. I really wonder what I said wrong and what should I have said to move to the next step. Another thing is – my place is not appropriate to invite anyone, so I want to make girls invite me to their place – and here I didn’t feel I did much of imagination-lead to make her do that. Could I do something now, to revive this interaction?
If anyone could help me here, I’d be very happy, …as I will be, if in the near future I can help a brother in need
Interesting negation ther brother.
I urge everyone to share these videos with friends. Especially those friends tired of choking on M&M’s.
I think that kinda chat is best left face to face as you can gauge body lanuage response. Best move mate, good practice & with all the babes in the world & so little time!
I got a chic flaking on me. although I think she’s testing me. i guess she doing a bit of Push-Pull.
She’s looking for a guy who will be with her all day & night & who doesn’t chat-up & go out with other women.
I replied: I’ll try to be more boring in future & less desirable to her friends as it was a burden to her being the envy of those friends.
Anyhow next Saturday is: “International Supplication Day” “I really do have a bad memory honey”
Hey Drago,
There is a minority of women who doesn’t want an orchestra of feelings – at least not with every guy – they just want sex! You’ve just encountered one, learn to recongnize and utilize them.
In fact from the very beggining, she makes it clear in her own feminine way:
“I don’t want 3 pages of talking. Can’t you make a more specific question?” (about what? she uses ambiguity)
“With my lover, I want LUST. If things go well, we’ll experience everything.” (actually her answer IS in future tense: if sex is good, we will)
And the last message, oh my, it’s priceless:
“What are you doing? I’m talking about the bed, not about romantic fuss! I can’t understand why don’t you get it. If you wanna fuck me, ask!”
You seemed to get the message on some level and tried using SS with sexual stuff, in spite of that right there, she only wanted a ‘new direction to take in’. She was screening you during the whole time. She wanted a guy who have the guts to skip all the “fuss” go right for the prize. Now she considers you’ve failed, and is probably looking for another guy now. You can’t do much about reviving her interest, but frankly, you don’t have to. Just go on, look for other girls. I think you applied SS well, and as one said, sometimes the most determining factor of seduction success is choosing the right subject. Sarge on!
Gabe,
a brother who have been there
Thanks Gabe
I appreciate your help and I learn my lessons
Hey Drago,
My sympathies, I have encountered this kind of reaction on occasion: girls complain when guys just say ‘Hi, how are you?’, and then you get this kind of rudeness when you make an effort to be interesting. Two points: one, I do not think she is worth much effort, she simply hasn’t got the class to be polite; two, when you use the techniques keep it all short and sweet, save your energy, make her do some of the work, you should be screening her, not the other way around
Ok I have a bit of a problem here that’s similar to this I guess.
I met a woman online and we went out and there WAS chemistry. I could have kissed her many times but I didn’t have the balls to. We parted ways and that was that. Whatever we had ended there.
My problem is that for some reason whenever I see this woman negative feelings stir up inside of me. I feel like I’m not good enough anymore, that I’m a failure, a loser. Seeing her reminds me of how I failed, reminds me of how I was a chump around her. I also see how she’s changed and I’ve stayed the same. The feeling is hard to describe.
It’s something that’s holding me back and I have no idea what to do. Meditation and bringing myself into the moment works but whenever I bump into her again the negative feelings stir up. If anyone can help a brother out it would be really appreciated, I figure this is the only place I can turn to for solid advice.
Hey DRago
whats up man. nice chat. you did some legit fractionation. I would subtract out any thing that enters the realm of apologizing. I can sense the vibe in some of the posts. I posted my chat on his last video and I was successful in getting this girl in state that is really hypnotic and shes taking action toward me.
The main principle i use that ross teaches with my chats is unlocking the safe door using there combination. I see you used it with some good effect. you may want to increase your repetition of it and constantly return to it as one of your main tools. Every question i ask i am filitering for more trance words. i ask questions like hey you may be potentially strong enough to answer this question. what would you have to feel to let you know you recognized your ideal mate? then if she answer with love and connection.
thats amazing if you were to meet him that you would feel love and connection. with me, i think those are feelings that really need to be there for you to recognize that they are taking place. as you are reading this I am thinking what that could really lead to.
then ask another question that gets more trance words. and keep feeding them back until the you can open the safe door. ONLY mention sex or get into the sex zone if she mentions it first, it confirms her participation by her aknowledging she brought up the topic. remeber its all about the illusion of participation.
great work man. I also advanced my awareness on how to fractionate by reading your script. thanks.
You may want to take a look at my myspace chat posted on the last video post.
I’ve used this one twice and got laid twice from it:
“Have you ever felt that incredible sense of connection? When you feel like you were meant to know this person. In fact, you feel like you’ve always known this person and you feel an incredible sense of fascination….and you feel it right there.” Look at you finger and slowly touch her chest.
This is pure gold. 2 for 2.
Yo ThatGuy,
Back in my teenage days, I was going out with this beautiful girl. After a few weeks she was ready for IT. She arranged everything, but she did not tell me what she wanted (most girls don’t verbalize their desire, I learned it the hard way). I think you already suspecting, yes, I missed the opportunity to do her.
For three and a half years, I was haunted by the chilling wraith you described earlier. I felt its presence in every part of my life, and every time I met her , it was standing beside her with a mocking, hollow grin. I spent a lot of time fighting it, trying to change but had only minor success.
I don’t wanna look like a payed advertiser but for me, the nail your inner game method made change possible. You can’t transform yourself overnight, but with determination and resolve, you’ll set foot on a brighter path. Before I got it I really didn’t understand why Ross is so obsessed with developing skill for learning while I wanted confidence and performance. I don’t say that now I understand every bit of SS, but I see the big picture as well as started having the qualities mentioned above. Change IS possible.
Good riddance
Gabe
That Guy,
Keep right on telling people how well Nail Your Inner Game worked for you. It’s one of my best pieces of research and teaching.
Y’all can find it here:
http://www.speedseduction.biz/nailyourinnergamepromo
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Get your “Booty Call” bail-out package with my new 3.0 Course:
http://www.speedseduction.biz/30promo
“There’s a certain mentality running strong. “If she says let’s just be friends, you’re screwed.” ”
I thought getting screwed was the whole idea……. “Let’s be friends” Cool… I’m getting screwed because I know just what to do when she says that……..
Right on Ross – sound advice.
You know, being in Australia – we never take things too seriously. Ross’s advice and methods are great tools – don’t think too much (or analyse them), just chill-ax and use them. Whenever we do things like building things, skydiving, abseiling, scubadiving, whatever – we use tools and have faith in these tried, tested and proven methods to accomplish goals = the same applies when in the field.
All the best lads…
this is great advice Ross as always I will use this next time i get the LBJ speech however the E mail I got said something about a video all the same it is fantastic you are giving so much for free I always know any Ross jeffries E mail I get will be useful information.
quote Ross Jefries e mail
“I just posted another fantastic free video on my blog.
This one is about going from “Let's be friends” to make-out
session.
Go here now and watch it, and let me know what you think. “