Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
In today’s installment I want to talk about the changes in orientation of thinking that are a big part of showing up attractive.
As I said last time, learning to have a good relationship with uncertainty is important, and in a sense, that helps in orienting a person toward having a fun learning frame when approaching women.
But today I want to talk about a few more shifts in thinking that are very empowering and useful.
Orientation Shift # 1: To First And Foremost Notice What Is Working And What You Are Doing Correctly
Here is a key understanding you need to really get: in an area of life where you have had significant challenges and limitation, it takes training to recognize progress.
If you’ve spent years ruminating and dwelling on mistakes, you have trained your mind to first and foremost notice mistakes. And sometimes only notice mistakes.
This can be a serious handicap to making progress and mastering skills. Because unless you do everything 100% right and the woman you are Sarging responds totally the way you want her to, it is very likely you will view the entire exercise as a failure and slide right back down the learning curve.
So when students come to me for private coaching or a seminar or are part of my on line coaching program, I always require that they first tell me, however large or however small, what they are doing correctly and right.
Don’t under-estimate the power in this shift in thinking and orientation.
Orientation Shift #2: A Bias Toward Action And Experimentation Over “Thinking Things Through”
Too many stuck guys think they can find “answers” by running more content through their internal dialog loop. Or they will spend 100 units of “analyzing” for every one unit of experiment.
I encourage you guys to take on an empiricist orientation toward learning. Which means that you recognize that information about the reality outside of your own skin can ultimately only come down to experiment in the real world.
Try on this affirmation for size: “When I don’t know what to do, I find out by consistent experiment in the real world. “
Orientation Shift #3: De-Thingifying Your World/Looking At And For Process And Activity
This is perhaps a bit more difficult to understand, but the understanding yields amazingly great benefits. In fact, without this understanding I would say your ability to use Speed Seduction(R) will be restricted. Once you get this understanding, everything flows much easier.
Here’s the idea: our language encourages us to turn into “things” that which is really ongoing activity and process.
Want examples?
Think of the term “attraction”. There’s a big idiot in this industry who likes to say, “Attraction isn’t a choice”.
No; “attraction” isn’t a “thing”. It’s a neurological activity that takes place inside of the person who is doing the activity and therefore having the experience. Outside of that neurological activity and process, “attraction” can’t even be said to exist. It’s not even about a “quality” in you. It’s about the ongoing activity IN THE OTHER PERSON.
Whether it is attraction, love, confidence or any other “thing” you’d like to have or experience, the reality is that what is actually taking place is an ongoing process; a flow of activity with components, sequence, varying levels of intensity, etc.
This is a crucial understanding in which to participate. Because once you get it, you begin to be able to see the the processes and activities that drive the people with whom you wish to play, influence and seduce.
And rather than thinking of the experiences/activities./processes that it would benefit you to command as “things” or “qualities” or events that happen TO you, they become what you create. And that is where real power can be enjoyed.
Let me know your thoughts on this. And please, please, do me a favor and tweet and Facebook this post (use the buttons above). It will really help me get the word out to those who need to see the intelligence and power of this teaching.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Would you like me to do a live video broadcast seminar on this subject? Only those who Tweet and Facebook (using the buttons above) will get the invite! So get out there and tell people!
Like three peas in a pod.
Watch for what works, and when.
When in doubt, take a giant step forward.
If and when you do think, always think “process”.
Wow!! that is truly deep interest in wanting to help others.
I’m just curious about the “process” of confidence, attraction or what not…if most of what we see is the manisfestation of our level of awareness of confindence “process”, then would it be the same “process” or ongoing activity to follow for being “rich” or having “financial liberty”?
Since listening to RJ’s Material in the last 2 months I got to 3’rd base with a girl. 3 lays, 6 # closes, and I F*&^&* a partridge in a pear tree. What is a partrige. Seriously, I am 43 and divorced a year ago. I spent a year alone, I heard about SS from reading “The Game” 2 months ago. In the last 2 months I have had more action than I did in the last 2 years.
Thank You Ross Jeffries, and also I have to thank Neil Straus or I never would have found Speed Seduction.
Sabra, Tel Aviv, Israel
Yes, this is what is a nomalization # 3: Attraction Experience Satisfaction Adventure Explore Desire Thoughts Feelings Excitment and many more that allow another person to deceide what that means to them. It’s sends her in the direction she wants(meanings) to go to.
Like this and with almost anyone: Have you ever had a friend you feel so close, so comfortable, that you feel you can say anything..and then..most people just start talking….(the Joy Ride Pattern)…..don’t interrupt…let them talk….it’s iristiable…..to them now
Ask a woman at Starbucks when ordering coffee…”Can you feel all those exciting feelings as I order this..xxxxxx…”….She will smile…because she knows excatly what your talking about…but only hears it from other women…because they think that way…and that is direction, you know.
The Sundown is shinning in at that time, isn’t it.
I looked for that guy who says “Attraction isn’t a choice” and found he is David Deangelo who has a website called double your dating. I honestly don’t know if this guy is a good dating coach (I know Ross is against dating in the first place unless you’re already sleeping with your date) or an idiot peroson. I also read in some webstes that he was a student of RJ but he did not find his methods working or natural. I don’t know what the story is, but I’m realy curious why someone would oppose this method.
Attraction isn’t a choice BECAUSE it’s a neurological activity and process.
There is no reason to insult others. No reason.
@Q Of course there is a reason to insult others. Because it’s enjoyable and others(especially those who are deceiving and harming) deserve it.
Great, Ross! Go a head.
John,
Sure, Deangelo’s stuff is better than nothing at all, but there is a huge gigantic enormous down-side to doing his stuff. YOU WILL END UP WITH A GIRL WHO LIKES TO GET PUSHED AROUND. Life can get pretty lonely with this kind of a girl. To get fun and playful, just run a few of Ross Jeffries games, quizzes, demos, or stories. Much better than constantly teasing a girl. Guys get some gains with Deangelo’s stuff, but only because it moves them out of the “nice guy” zone. Here again, much better, is to get the right attitude toward girls. YOU QUALIFY THEM. You are the one who is checking to SEE IF THEY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to get a peice of you. Get Ross Jeffries 3.0 Home Study Course and the Nail Your Inner Game package. It’s necessary and sufficient.
Again amazing stuff, Ross. Real developments in thought here!
PS – Let me also suggest the following… Dude, you’re the godfather of the seduction industry. You don’t need to mention, let alone put down, anybody else. You are Ross fuckin’ Jeffries, man… 🙂
First off, Ross, you are being nasty :p
I don’t have facebook or twitter …
Anyway, nice perspective shift.
I think you should write a book about your affirmations or guidelines.
I know your speed seduction patterns & routines work great in practice, however i don’t feel like learning them and i’m already great when it comes to story telling and improvisation.
What i need is your attitude, without all the routines & examples in a concise 10-20 page PDF.
I think that third item is very important and having read/listened to most of the programs, it still is difficult for me, at least up until now, to not see attraction, love, lust etc.. as a “thing”
Anyway, I hope there is a chance that Chicago will be included in the seminar line up for next year. I will be able to attend after end of January 2011 and I am sure RJ and his team would love to come to Chicago in winter to just remind them how lucky they are to be living in Southern California..
Mark