Dear Speed Seduction(R) Students,
Wow. Your response to my prior post on Resolutions vs. Resolve was quite strong.
So today I’ll continue on in the discussion.
Let me start with a discussion I had way back in 1993 when I first came out with the Unstoppable Confidence Course.
I was telling a girl, Lan, about the course and how it built confidence for men.
She asked me a stunningly good question.
“Is that confidence a state? Or is it a trait?”
Fantastic distinction there.
For most of us, resolve comes down to temporarily working ourselves into a “bubble” of motivation, enthusiasm, etc.
As long as that temporary bubble lasts-or events go our way-we keep right on going.
There are a few problems with this approach:
1. Events don’t always go our way. Especially when we are first trying out/learning new skills, new ways of thinking, and new ways of interpreting events.
An example of that last point: have you ever seemingly done quite well with a woman, hung out/made out, and then she never calls you back? How do you handle that? Confusion? Frustration? Resentment? How long before you can reset yourself, incorporate what you did RIGHT, see what you need to correct, and get back out there in the field?
2. Working yourself up into a state of motivation takes time and maintaining it can burn energy. I’m not saying it is never useful. Just pointing out the limitations.
The Elements Of The Quality Of Resolve
I think to possess the quality of resolve requires a few elements. I’ll just outline them here and in a later post, get into how to get and keep those elements.
1. A vision of where you’d like to go and how you would like to be, that is independent of support from your environment or how things are going on any particular day.
2. A set of beliefs about learning and a method/process for learning from your actions and behavior.
3. A clear set of values-what is achieving where you want to be going to allow you to experience? And what values do you want to uphold and live from while you are on the journey? (this is key)
4. A set of rituals/procedures to enforce all of this.
Ok. I await your comments and feedback. Please post them below.
And if you really want to get how to do all of this, may I suggest my Nail Your Inner Game Program? It is the most detailed presentation for all of this.
Peace, piece, and awaiting your comments below
RJ
P.S. You can get teaching, instruction. coaching and mentoring from me for just $1. Find out more here.
Hey Ross its Nick. I posted on your last video. I have been practicing the inner game and all the depressed victimized mental and semi schizophrenic multiple conflicting info filters are cleaned up. I am now close to ready to openly approach in a way that states my intent. But one problem that holds me back is my physiological response to alot of uncertainty. My eyes start burning so bad and geting itchy that I almost get cry like mixed wiht a panic attack. like if you cut open an onion and you cant control your eyes from burning and contracting. I lowered this with that response you gave to virudux. Where you relax around the uncertainty and build and equinimity with it. Today I gave an presentation in front of ten co workers and it started happening so I relaxed around it and no matter what did not try to change it. As soon as I thought of transmuting it my eyes would start but as soon as I went back to accepting it I just had that discomfort in my body. And this harsh eye problem is really messing my vibe up. My fear of this reaction is for sure not vibing resolve even though i went thru the presentation with the uncertainty. Im confused. Do i try to get passed it or is that a limiting frame. or do i just accept i might have a ridiculous physiological reaction in front of people. it seems if I accepted that fully my vibe would change. But i still sense these are some weak frames of mind and could use some clarity.
The Quality Of Resolve: State Or Trait? | Ross Jeffries Uncensored…
Resolutions are made and broken so quickly. What’s lacking is resolve. But what is resolve: enthusiastic motivation, short-lived high, fierce determination that dies at the first challenge? Ross Jeffries shares the elements of resolve and how you …
Confidence in my mind is a trait, if it has to be a state then you are faking confidence. I have had several bouts of pathological depression in my life because life wouldnt go my way. So I realised for me to be supremely confident which was always a part of who i am, I had to understand and realise that everything external is only temporary and not to internalise the outside world. The external world changes, but we distort far too much and prejudice what the external world really is and so individualise it….our own world is different to anyone elses, so confidence to one man is arrogance for another.
to sean
Confidence in my mind is a trait, if it has to be a state then you are faking confidence. I have had several bouts of pathological depression in my life because life wouldnt go my way. So I realised for me to be supremely confident which was always a part of who i am, I had to understand and realise that everything external is only temporary and not to internalise the outside world. The external world changes, but we distort far too much and prejudice what the external world really is and so individualise it….our own world is different to anyone elses, so confidence to one man is arrogance for another.
What are you mean by trait. A trait to me means a quality of personality that you can define. From what Ive learned from Ross and have noticed in my self is that your energetic state is the base for all that follows. So if you are in a tranquil state in a noisy loud enviornment this naturally can be seen as confident. I dont see how that would be fake. As your mind is going through the world it has to internalize things on a cognitive basis. You dont have to give a limiting meaning that will get you stuck or give something a doomed forever type of interpretation but naturally interpretation of things with a sense of you attached to it can from understanding be defined as internalization. If thats what you mean then do you have no sense of self. It seems like you do. It looks like you have a very ridgid sense of self because your sense of self from your writting implies an actual you with the inherent trait of being confident. Rather than your sense of self being your interpretation of you self that helps you create a realm of relativity. Ross said it good that there is no self but just a flow of thoughts feeling and changing views. you said confidence to one man is arrogance to another which seems like the two people are not properly interpreting events to match the set definition of confidence. It looks like you could use some clarifying or maybe I need some. I suggest getting the inner game videos by ross. I had these types of thoughts back in the day when I read Jiddu Krishnamurti, Ekart Tole and Deepak chopra where everything is beauty, the self is a horrible thing limiting you, and that by just loving everything youll be in constant bliss while you still cant handle the uncertainty of life.
nick a
Good post Ross – I threw a link on my blog to this post.
To Nick.
I dont understand what you mean!! A trait is something inherent, its part of you. A ‘state’ is a feeling or emotion. I think you should google state and trait!!
Cheers nick and happy bliss
sean