Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Sometimes it’s the seemingly softball questions that really get my creativity flowing. A student asked me:
“So Ross, how do you suggest us newbie’s work our way to mastery?”
Wow. If I were to map it out, I would divide it up like this:
1) Understanding. This means you understand HOW women create their emotions. You get that the key is:
- Women already think and talk to themselves and to others in the Speed Seduction® Language. Meaning the “patterns” and such aren’t something I just made up. They are reflections/restatements of the way women think ALREADY. And that is why they work.
- It’s most important to think in terms of what emotions you want women to feel-what emotional states you want them to be in when they think about you. Get the emotions flowing first and the actions you want her to do will follow.
- Think of womens’ psyches/minds/personalities as a big ship with many smaller compartments. You want to activate/energize those “compartments” that contain her emotions/feelings/imagination for escape, fascination, connection, desire, indulgence, arousal, daring etc.
2) State control. You learn to control your state. That means you develop a good working relationship with uncertainty, confusion and frustration as well as being able to create and design more pleasant, “positive” states like confidence, certainty, etc.
State control isn’t just about how you are when you are with women. It’s about how you are when you review your progress with women, the mistakes you made, the things you did right etc.
3) Rehearsal and practice. You learn a good strategy to rehearse how you want to sound, look, act, re-act. You rehearse this outloud before you go out. You then go out and practice IN THE WORLD, as much as you can, whenever and wherever you can.
4) Designing your vibe and meaning. You get that the meaning you give your practice in the world is important. That “sarging” women is best viewed as a fun way to improve your skills, not a “do or die” mission that you MUST succeed at. The meaning isn’t, “I hope this works” or “What if I fail?” The meaning is, “Let’s go have some fun and see what I can do in the world with this person.”
You learn to design a vibe that is grounded, out-ward oriented(instead of attending to the dialog in your head) and willing to f@@k it up and have fun.
5) You get the most useful orientation. This means that first and foremost:
- You always notice what has worked, what you are doing right. You do not allow yourself to look at mistakes, feel frustrated etc UNTIL YOU FIRST ACKNOWLEDGE everything you are doing correctly, even the smallest step or element.
- You develop an action orientation. This means when you feel stuck or don’t know what to do, YOU TAKE ACTION IN THE WORLD instead of trying to figure it out in your head. You let your experiments, over time, with repetition and multiple trials, tell you what really works and what you can do.
- You realize the world has no guarantees other than dying, so you determine to design your life and make it worth remembering, rather than let your past, your peers or even your present situation tell you who you have to be, what you can do, and what you can enjoy.
6) You develop a practice that allows you to see where you have been going wrong, without being upset or believing you have to be that way anymore. The practice gets to the point where you see the mistaken/old ways of thinking and acting BEFORE you do them, so you can correct course BEFORE you hit the rocks. In other words, you have a meditation practice.
7) You get the best goddamn coach and guide in the world – that would be me.
Any questions?
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. One of the fastest ways to get me is to join my Coaching Program which includes live interaction – “Ask Me Anything” group coaching sessions as well as one-on-one office hours. Get me fast, get me good, get me live, get me now – click here.
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I still need to master the part of going out in the real world and regularly try out this stuff. But…you know…I’m getting there… =)
RJ,
Great overview! I did a copy of this to save.
I’ve been using mildly altered forms of a bunch of your earlier stuff lately to good effect. Had a new girl at work laughing and giggling and allowing me to show her some massage techniques right there. This girl is 23, but she is married, and I’ve had two affairs at work in the last two years. This will likely be play and practice only.
I was going my workout place earlier in the week and one of the office workers that I seldom see showed up and called out to me to wait for her. She is a good looking woman of about 42, but she’s slender and a good person. She would probably still rate a 6.5 even compared to 20 somethings. She literally took me by the arm and escorted me into the workout place. I’ve never sarged this lady period, but I think she is looking for a boyfriend. She’s pretty conventional though, and probably too much work to teach how to let go. I’m curious as to her sarging skills?!
“■You develop an action orientation. This means when you feel stuck or don’t know what to do, YOU TAKE ACTION IN THE WORLD instead of trying to figure it out in your head. You let your experiments, over time, with repetition and multiple trials, tell you what really works and what you can do.”
very important, take action…hunger for action
” ■You realize the” world has no guarantees other than dying, so you determine to design your life and make it worth remembering, rather than let your past, your peers or even your present situation tell you who you have to be, what you can do, and what you can enjoy
”
Yes this is something many people overlook…until it’s too late
Hey RJ, if I could trade being celibate for the rest of my life and being guaranteed for 2,000 life-long healthy years of goodness.. (I’m not defining goodness because it will take a long time.. 😉 I would make that trade for the latter because eventually the real-dolls will get so god-damn real in the next 100-200 years that I can just have my own sexslave that can be programmed by yours truly to do whatever I want and please and delight me for all my selfish reasons. And then, when I didn’t want her to bother me.. just turn her off and let her charge in the wall socket.
But, in the meantime… yeah, it sucks that I will probably die one day.. (I refuse to believe its a certainty, though.. just like taxes.. I’ve never filed an IRS claim before and made $25+k last year. hehe!)
So, I guess I would have to study more philosophy or math or something to know if death is a certainty. But what’s difference between eternity and a billion years?? None (in context of a human if I can be ensured that I won’t really age anymore and that I can’t be physically or mentally harmed significantly).
So, right now I’m planning on living for a very, very long time. But I won’t be waiting for real dolls to become real anytime soon. That would be like voluntarily incarcerating myself for a very long time.. that would mean that I couldn’t talk to any women when I saw them while running errands or at school or wherever. So , thank you for your NLP-enis which has brought me great happi-ness at more regular intervals and though sometimes I don’t always get the responses I like I always learn from it to refine my skill and then when I get a ‘bite’ it’s soooo fuggin’ fun to take her on a ride! Because then (at least for a couple weeks, anyway 😉 she wants to eat out of the palm of my hand and obey me!! Master!!!! More than anything, I want to be called master! I don’t care so much about sex (well, I do.. but I say I don’t because either way I come with myself or with a girl.. doesn’t really matter.. the porn allows me to bang 50 girls at once without banging them.. a juxtaposition of all my obsessions.. and facebook! oh yes!! all the honey’s i could never bang ’em all so I fantasize.. actually addicting sometimes… don’t do it!!! fair warning!) as I do for being ‘the man’. Just like you, RJ, the man and MASTER!
‘night!
Hey R.J, I’m new to all this, but i watched many videos like LA99 speed seduction, Magical connections, psychic influence and recently s.s 3.0 videos, and i had one problem, when i go out sometimes i know what to say sometimes i don’t know, but the point is i don’t say anything. I get really frustrated and I want to accomplish that I use this everywhere and with everyone I want. It’s just that when i am home i feel that i can do this then i go outside and i use to feel block but i am constantly trying to unblock it. But i know it works because i used it over facebook and it was so good, i only need to get rid of fear of doing it outside. I was planing to watch major marks hypnosis in LA99 speed seduction but if you have better idea I am all ears.
P.S I would love to come to your seminar but I am from Croatia and i have no money to do that, but if you could e-mail me your opinion i would be grateful. Thanks and best of luck in your following speed seduction years from Croatia
if I were a chick i would orgasm while reading this article…
being a man, i bow down and say sincere “Thank You Ross”
very inspiring…
@Petr For I AM the Kwisatz Haderach!
Hi Tom,
I’m no RJ, and you probably wont take my advice…but I think the fact you go out at all in the first place shows you are willing. So that isn’t a feeling of block, it’s that your ready. Go for It.
(I recommend Ross’s “Fear into charisma”) You can approach anyone with that under your belt.
But before step 1) I’d say:
You just gotta start small. Just go somewhere where women are and see what thats like.
Next day go stand side by side to a few of them.
Then when your comfortable with that just drop an opener/comment, then nice to meet you and walk off. Try 5 in 1 day.
Then build on that. Have you heard of Manny Martian?
Make sure your relaxed & feeling comfortable.
Coz if your uncomforable she’ll feel it, and as far as i’m aware I don’t think that works at any stage of any successful communication.
So balance all those videos with going out.
“It gets easier so keep going” and keep going until that makes sense, and you realise you can’t wait to go out some more.
I’m only suggesting ideas though – Do what makes you feel comfortable. (Not to comfortable)
All the best.
Yea i still dont get how to capture and lead a womens imaginations. I learn from example so i need some.