Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
A student of mine who has bought a few courses reported back to me on his progress learning and mastering the skills.
Part of his self-assessment featured the “chewing vs. doing” penumbra:
“I’m realizing what I’ve been doing throughout this whole time of trying to learn Speed Seduction®. I was trying to go over it so much and asking, ‘Am I getting it? Am I not?’ I wasn’t going out there and taking the risks I should be.”
And that last part, is a big part of the problem, right there. He needs to watch his language.
It’s not “as I should be.”
“Should” is a tricky thing. “Should” sounds like you’re making a commitment. “Should” sounds like you’re stepping into action. In reality, “should” makes no commitment to action at all.
I can say, “I really should go workout tomorrow.” It doesn’t do anything as far as actually directing my mind to take a single step. It’s not what you should be doing, but what you choose to be doing and what you claim to be doing.
This is an easy way that people block themselves. They say, “I really should commit to working out tomorrow.” That’s a way of delaying. That’s a way of procrastinating. It’s putting off the decision.
What if I say to you, “Would you meet me tomorrow at 7:00 p.m. and I’ll give you $1,000?” You say, “I really should.” That is not a promise to show up. That’s not saying, “Yes, I will.” or “Yes, I choose to do so.”
(Hey I don’t know about you but, f@@k, if you’re going to give me $1,000, I’ll be there.)
Another thing we do in Speed Seduction® is watch to see how thoughts are formulated. In the process of learning how your thoughts are formulated, you learn about how other people do it.
Then you begin to lose your fear and dread of other people because you see how deeply stuck they are. They’re stuck in the same world you used to be. Even when they frustrate you, you begin to develop a kind of compassion.
You say, “Wait a minute. I see how that’s being produced in them.”
This is really a wonderful opportunity to do a lot more than get good at attracting chicks.
Start by watching your language.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Speed Seduction® gives you a profoundly deep understanding of how women tick that opens and draws them toward you as soon as you enter the room. Join me in Atlanta this weekend and I’ll show you how this works.
[…] posted here: Should You? (Psst…Watch Your Language!) No […]
Vibes and language make men stronger than injustice. When I do speed seduction I can feel the power of being confortable with uncertainty, also I can face new challenges with women (overlapping levels of the mind after sex) and perceive pain with equanimity….
But I can’t find the motivation and the skills to succeed in other areas (like job), can you do a second miracle? I suppose mindframe persuasion is for salespeople and there isn’t a coaching program… what can I do?
Hi Ross,
This is great, your use of language is a mirror image of the attitude you bring into any ara of life.
I used to think if I somehow change my attitude the language will follow, but it’s actually the other way around isn’t it!…I see now, to get the correct attitude you must first change the way you use your language and motivate you to act on it..
It took me about a year to get off my arse and go jogging to loose excess weight and now youv’e cleared it in a single post…
Exciting stuff.
Bush.
Hey RJ,
damn it but you hit the nail on the head. Working with a lot of anxiety suffers both male and female it is clear that a piece of the puzzle that keeps people stuck is the language of stuckness. “Shoulds” are definitely on that list. The other thing I get a lot is the “What ifs”. With approach anxiety it’s like guys are always asking themselves disempowering questions like, “What if I approach her and she shoots me down?” to break through those patterns is to indeed stand outside the stream of everybody else in a way that is hugely empowering. And ultimately that shift in energy is probably more attractive to women than any pick up “technique”.
Profound stuff. Thank you again for bringing something significant to this work.
-Mark Shepard
RJ,
There seems to be degrees to how much people are stuck. If someone is not curious, open, and able to reconstruct reality, then that person is somewhat stuck with the past and what their habitual subconscious allows them to think. State and intent are a big part of this and so is energy, but creative curiosity and the ability to relate apparently unrelated subjects allows one to get beyond mere technics. Basic principles and the methods to apply them are far more important than individual facts, or memorized stories and sexual double meanings. It’s always surprising to me who is a bit stuck, even when they seem to be a strong person. I’m constantly relearning this lesson about myself and others.
There is this woman I’ve met. She’s a successful cougar. She’s quite good looking, slender, and has great energy. She constantly holds court with two or three, 20 something males, who are also good-looking and athletic. She puts out a strong sensual energy that feels unfocused except for toward males in general. She has captured my interest, as I figure she would be wonderful to work with to get creative skills of all sorts down.
I did a couple of story patterns with her, aimed vaguely at connections and trust with some erotic stuff thrown into the mix. She stopped me during the second story and contradicted me, actually saying stuff like, “No, you’re wrong,” and “That’s not true.” I just laughed in a nice way. She a sensualist and they are usually best approached by kino type stuff and not connection patterns, which may make them stay away. But a couple days later she stopped me and talked and seemed a little intrigued. The truth is I made this mistake on purpose, as I want to find out what kind of effect the stories would have on her and just how conscious she is of her abilities. My energy behind this is that I do like her and respect her, and I try to let that flow through what I do as technics.
My stories, I believe, challenged her realities, so that’s why her response, but she likes me. Even though she is a natural as a cougar, she doesn’t have much conscious control over her abilities. Therefore, in a minor degree, she’s still stuck.