Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Breaking up is hard to do. If she’s someone you cared about deeply, you may feel hurt, crushed, there’s no one else in the world like her and things will never be the same.
The last two points are true – she’s the only person like her, and things can’t possibly be the same.
Remember: you have skills with women. They helped you get together with her in the first place. And what you used the skills for once, you can use again and again.
Now, welcome to the world: we have pleasure and we cling to it and want it to continue. When it doesn’t, if we don’t know how to let go, we suffer.
Buddhists understand what are known as the Four Noble Truths.
And yes, right now it is painful and confusing. But remember, all pleasure and pain comes to an end, sooner or later.
The shock and disbelief can be the most painful part.
On top of being sad and even angry that your pleasure with this girl is ending-the fun, companionship, emotional connection, sex, validation, etc-you now have:
- Confusion. What went wrong?
- Shock: it was unexpected
- Anger – this is unfair for her to suddenly do this with no explanation.
So we see that many painful things are processing all at once. Any one of these things, by itself: sadness, shock, confusion, anger, desire for the pleasure to continue and frustration that it isn’t – any ONE of these would be difficult.
ALL of them piling up together feels overwhelming.
Yet, this is an incredible opportunity.
Yes. An opportunity for you to learn the difference between pain and suffering, desire and drivenness and fixation.
Can you learn to sit in meditation and experience each element, BY ITSELF, without fighting it or trying to change it and also without feeding it with your “story’ about how bad it is, how it shouldn’t be happening?
Can you turn suffering – all of these elements entangled and overwhelming – into simple pain? It can hurt but does it have to become who you are, block you from moving forward, or blind you to your sense of possibility and enjoying here and now?
P.S. In Speed Seduction® Rapid and Total Success With Women, I show you how to use the principle of equanimity to leap-frog past approach anxiety and break through slumps WITHOUT pushing through pain.